Six Ways From Sunday

Chapter 10

I stared at the door, still shocked. I turned to look at Andy, who had a puzzled look on his face. It was clear he was trying to process what his friend had just said as well. Andy faced me and asked "Did he just say he loves you?"

"That's what I was wondering." I said to my brother. Andy came over and patted my bed. I scooted over and let him crawl onto the bed with me. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight. I couldn't help it, I let the tears flow. It was all too much for me. I'd lost the only thing that made me feel even slightly normal and I'd quite possibly lost the only guy I'd ever actually given two shits about.

Andy didn't know what to do I'm sure. He couldn't talk to me because I couldn't hear him and I couldn't read his lips with my face buried in his shoulder. He rubbed my back in circles until I finally looked up at him, sniffling. He gave me a sympathetic look. "You're going to be OK, you know that right?" I nodded. "Good. Now if you need to, you can finish letting it all out. It's been a rough day for you."

I snuggled into my brother and dozed off. I was done crying, but I was awfully tired. When I woke up, the sun was streaming through the windows and Juliet was sitting in the chair next to my bed, sound asleep. I smiled at my sister-in-law and shifted my position only to find that Andy was still on the bed with me. Only my brother was awake. "Morning Sunshine." I read my brother's lips and gave him a sad smile. I pointed to Juliet.

"When did she come in?" I asked, I hoped softly. I didn't want to wake her, but I had no idea what volume my voice was coming out. It would take time for me to get used to talking without being able to hear myself again.

"A little after you fell asleep. I told her what's going on, so she knows she needs to face you when she speaks to you." I looked down and felt Andy put his hand under my chin and lift my face so he could speak to me again. "Don't. Don't hide yourself because you're deaf. It doesn't mean you can't live or enjoy music. You've already said how you enjoy the music when you can't hear. Don't let this get you so down."

"But...." I started to say when the door to my room flew open. Jinxx came flying in with CC right behind him. Jinxx looked as though he'd been crying. I had a bad feeling about this.

"She's gone!" Jinxx flopped into another chair in the room. Juliet woke with a gasp. "Oh, sorry." He stared at the floor. I couldn't see his face, but I could tell his mouth was moving. I huffed because no one was even trying to tell me what he was saying.

"She's gone. When I woke up this morning, Sammi was gone. Not just Sammi, but all her stuff too. Some note on the table about Germany because her new band is based there or some shit. I don't know." Jinxx sniffed. Now that Juliet was awake I decided to say something.

"Look, not to be rude, but I can't hear a fucking thing you're saying and since no one is bothering to tell me, I'm feeling a bit left out." I said. Jinxx looked startled.

"What do you mean you can't hear a thing I'm saying? You're right here!" Jinxx said, although this time since he was talking to me, he was looking at me. "And why do you sound funny?"

"She's deaf." Andy jumped in. "She can read lips and from what she told CC, she can hear a little bit if she has hearing aids, but not well enough to tell what you've said. And she sounds odd because she can't hear herself speaking. For some reason, being able to hear ourselves has something to do with how we sound."

"I'm sorry." Jinxx looked at me. "Sammi's gone. She left some crazy note about Germany and IAMX and took all her stuff."

"Oh Jinxx. I'm so sorry." I told him. I patted my bed, since Andy had gotten up. When Jinxx sat, I hugged him. "This just hasn't been a good 24 hours for anyone has it?" I smiled when he shook his head.

Andy looked at Jinxx. "Let's go get some breakfast for all of us shall we?" He nodded and Juliet followed, leaving me alone with CC.

"Hey princess!" CC grinned at me. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Better. Except, well, you know." I replied. He nodded.

"I don't get it pretty girl. Why are you so sad? He showed his true nature. I'd think you'd be glad to be rid of him." He winced. "That sounded so fucking awful of me. I'm sorry."

I didn't say anything, deep in thought. CC was right. He'd shown his true colors. When he found I was deaf, Ashley had rejected me and yet... I was sad. I still wanted him so much. Why the hell did I still want him so much?