Six Ways From Sunday

Chapter 9

Ashley stopped short and stared at me. "You can't hear? Anything?"

I shrugged. "Very little. Extremely loud noise – but I can't tell you what it is. I can hear it if the crowd roars at a concert or I can hear the music, but I can't distinguish what it is. I just hear a general noise."

"And you never thought to tell any of us that you can't hear anything?" Ashley glared. "I mean, really, that's information we kind of need. How did you know what we were saying?"

"I had a cochlear implant. I could hear if you were on my left or in front of me. I could even hear some things from behind me. My right side was hit or miss. I was supposed to get another implant on the right later so I could hear on both sides." I avoided his accusatory questions. I already felt bad enough about having kept the secret from them.

"And what about not telling us? Why didn't you tell us? Seriously, what the hell is your problem?" Ashley wasn't about to let it go.

Andy interjected. "Stop it Ash. She doesn't need your attitude right now. She's got bigger things to worry about."

"Like what? Figuring out where to live when she gets out of here? I assume you're going to kick her ass out after this, right?" Ashley spat. He was being far meaner than I'd ever known him to be. I didn't understand where this was coming from.

"No, I'm not kicking her out because she didn't tell us she's deaf." Andy looked horrified. "She's my sister! Why the hell would I do that?"

"Because she's a liar!" Ashley wasn't even trying to keep his voice down, nor was he trying to be nice about it. I could tell he was yelling because of the look on his face. "She couldn't be bothered to tell anyone about this?"

"I did tell someone. I told CC. I just didn't tell him all of it. He didn't know it was a cochlear implant so I could hear." I looked at Ashley. "And just because I can't hear you doesn't mean I can't fucking read your lips, so don't think I don't know what you're saying." I could pretty much tell that Ashley wasn't going to let it go, so I finally continued. "You want to know why I didn't tell anyone I'm deaf? Because I didn't want to be pitied. All my life, it's always been the same thing. 'Oh she's such a pretty girl, it's a shame she can't hear anyone tell her so.' or 'Oh, she's deaf? What a pity. She'll never be able to do anything with her life if she can't hear.' So once I got the implant, I really didn't see the need to spread the news that I'm deaf."

"Oh, poor baby. People were sorry for you and that pissed you off." Ashley sneered. "Did it make you cry too?"

I shook my head even though it hurt to. Then I looked over towards Andy, tears running down my face. I didn't want Ashley to see that he had made me cry. I wouldn't give him that. Andy finally decided he'd had enough.

"I don't get it Ash. What is the big fucking deal here? Why is it a problem if Charli can't hear? It isn't like she's incapable of holding a conversation if you have the courtesy to face her. It isn't like she's incapable of doing things for herself. She just can't hear. Big fucking deal!" Andy stared at his friend, waiting for a reply.

"Exactly. She can't hear. She can't hear it if a fire alarm goes off. She can't hear music. She can't hear a movie or television show. And she can't hear me if I tell her I love her." Ashley stormed out of the room. I sat there in shock. Had Ashley just been making an example or had he just admitted he loves me?