𝑬𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆 ❥ ON HOLD.

𝑻𝒘𝒐

(Y/n) could hear the faint and muffled sound of doctors fusing around her gravely wounded body.

Clearly, everything was a blur after she got hit by that car.

Everything hurt for a split second and then it was like her body went into shock, she couldn't hear or feel anything and she could only faintly see what was going on.

God, I'm so fucking stupid.

Who would've thought that my love for books and passionate opinions about them would be the thing that helped me get killed?

No, I can't think like that-

The doctors are helping me, and soon my parents will be here too.

Laying in the hospital bed, (Y/n) couldn't help but think how much of her life she's wasted. She's only twenty-three years old and she can't think of one exciting or thrilling experience she's had.

(Y/n) has spent most of her life with her head down, she was a shy and socially awkward child and teenager who focused solely on her education never making or keeping friends for very long.

But one of the saddest parts about (Y/n)s life is that she's a coward, she has never taken a single risk in her entire life. When it came to boys, school functions or just having fun as a teenager she wasn't a part of it.

Whenever other adults talked to her parents they would always praise them for raising such a smart, disciplined, and well-behaved girl.

Which some of it was true, she was very smart and disciplined, and even as a young child she rarely made a fuss or threw a tantrum.

But was she really so well-behaved, or was she just quiet and never spoke up about her opinions? In a weird way she did it for her parents, she did everything for them.

Because she's a people pleaser.

If being a quiet and well-behaved girl made them happy and eased their stress then she was happy to do it, at least back then she was. Now she just regretted it.

If she could go back and redo her life she would, and no not go back and be a bad kid but take risks.

Ask out that guy she had a crush on, go to that party, go to prom...

Even her career, she was on her way to earning her bachelor's in business management, it was a good line of work, and if she worked hard enough she was bound to be set up for a pretty comfortable life, but did it make her happy? Fulfilled?

I'm so pathetic.

My life was pathetic, and my death is pathetic too.

Where are my parents?

(Y/n) didn't know but her parents were already at the hospital, despite her city being a four-hour drive away and both of them having work in the morning, despite it being four a clock in the morning, the second they got that call no matter how tired they were, they rushed out of bed still in their pajamas and drove to the hospital as fast as they could.

(Y/n) has never understood how much her parents love her, growing up she often felt like a burden, like her parents having her strained their marriage. She is their one and only daughter, their world.

She couldn't hear or see her parents crying and shouting, or the doctors and nurses working their hardest rushing her into emergency surgery, as her senses were slowly slipping away.

Would (Y/n) ever know how much they loved her? Would she know how hard the doctors worked to try and save her life?

I just want them to hold me.