dont... || yuyeon

don't feel so lonely

( second to last chapter!! >.< )

Soyeon woke up, feeling at least a little less lonely than she had yesterday. She feels.. refreshed. Well rested. She blinks, her eyes not burning under the glare of the sunlight weakly filtering into her room for once. She guesses that she'd have to get used to that. Her room. She'd be alone once Shuhua and Miyeon get enough money to buy a house together, and it's only a few more days until Minnie flies back to Thailand. All alone. With no one to talk to her. She sighs. If that had been a while ago, she would have celebrated at the idea of so much time to herself, but she just knows that it's going to feel empty without Yuqi around to annoy her.

Honestly, she's mad at herself. In the mere span of her life, she's practically seen the whole world, something she knows some people can only dream of. She has enough food, enough money to pay for a personal chef if she wants. She has a roof over her head, and people that love her. Well.. that's the problem. Soon, the people who love her will all be gone. Maybe I can move to China and live with Yuqi's parents... But what will she do when they eventually pass away? I could live with Minnie in Thailand, right? No.. she knows Minnie won't live in Thailand forever, she's only living there until she can get her music career in the States off the ground.

Right, music.

Soyeon looked over towards a door in the room. The door to her studio. She sighs, falling back into the bed sheets. She hadn't made any music since Yuqi's death, and she didn't plan to. What would she even write about? Her songs would be repetitive, almost all of them probably having some sort of "I miss you" in them, so what's even the point? There is no point. She feels blank. She hadn't ever thought of a future that exists without Yuqi.

Again she sighs, starting to feel lonely again. She gets out of bed to wash her face, surprised to find that it wasn't riddled with acne since she hasn't washed it recently. One thing to celebrate, she thinks, drying her face and heading out into the living room.

"Goodmorning!" Shuhua says cheerily, flipping through magazines on the kitchen table.

"Yeah, morning," Soyeon smiled. Though it didn't quite reach her ears, she appreciated Shuhua's effort in trying to make her feel better. She wasn't ready to say it was a 'good' morning yet. "Any.. any luck?"

"No," Shuhua groaned, falling back in the chair, "Miyeon's being so picky. I honestly don't care where I live as long as I live with her, so I don't know why she's being so dramatic over this." She suddenly perked up. "Let's go eat somewhere."

"I'm not hungry," Soyeon mumbles, grabbing the whipped cream in the refrigerator and squirting a lot of it into a bowl.

Shuhua rolled her eyes. "Come on, Soyeon, you haven't eaten in a while."

"Yes I have!" Soyeon protests, licking her fingers.

"Whipped cream doesn't count," she deapans.

"Fine. You choose. I don't care..."

Shuhua tips her head. "How about Chipotle?" Soyeon's eyes water, and she turns away from Shuhua. The younger purses her lips, thinking, What did I even do now?? "Soyeon. Soyeon?" She calls when the Korean starts breaking down, head resting on the table now.

"Everything reminds me of her, Shuhua!" She slams the bowl down onto the table, standing up angrily and opening a drawer.

"Look, I'm sor— SOYEON!" Shuhua yells, dropping the magazine in her hands and rushing forward to take away the knife. "You can't do this to yourself!"

"Why can't I?! I miss her!"

Shuhua pushed Soyeon roughly away from the knife drawer. "Do you want me to strap you to a chair all day and night? Is that what you want?"

"I can join her without a stupid knife," Soyeon mutters, holding her breath.

Shuhua rubs her forehead. "Let's just talk, you'll feel better. We can even go and visit her, come on." Soyeon shakes her head, face turning blue. "Soyeon, this isn't funny!" Shuhua shouts, watching in horror as a weird purple color stains her neck and collarbones as the oxygen slowly leaves her due to not breathing.

Then, panicked, Shuhua punched her in the stomach, forcing her lung reflexes to inhale. Soyeon's breath heaved and she glared at Shuhua.

After a long moment of silence and Soyeon catching her breath, Soyeon whispers, "I'm sorry," and runs off. She runs out of the apartment, skipping the elevator and going down the building's stairs. She walks far away, she walks all the way to Yuqi's grave. And, finally, she arrived there, at the little stone engraved with Yuqi's name and upturned dirt that was already growing some grass on it.

She collapsed onto the soil, cuddled up next to her as close as she could be.

~

Yuqi panted, having climbed more stairs than she's ever even seen in her life just now. Finally, finally, she reached the top. But she wasn't going to celebrate now, no, she would celebrate when she was back in her body, hugging Soyeon as tight and close as humanly possible. She reached up and knocked on the door.

Almost immediately, someone answered, opening the huge door and telling her to come in. She dipped her head to them, stepping inside what seemed to be some sort of white marble palace.

"Why are you here?" the woman walked towards her, angry.

Proud, Yuqi held up the list. "I've done it!"

Her face turned into an expression of horror. "W-what? You actually finished those? I thought that it'd take you decades!!"

"Nope," Yuqi smiled, "so.. aren't you going to do some magic-y thing and bring me back to life?"

The woman shook her head, laughing. "You fool! You really believed me? That was just my chore list."

"What?" Yuqi's face paled. "Then.. what is this?" She brings out the little silver bird necklace, slowly turning red.

"G-give me that back!" The woman suddenly exclaims.

"No! You fucking lied to me!" Yuqi rips the necklace off of herself and throws it onto the floor, smashing it into little pieces.