A Loyal Customer

About Last Night

~ Shlomo Franklin

I completely forgot to mention that the year is 2020. There is no pandemic in this fic though.

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Chapter 3

Ian had never heard from Roger Spikey again after that night.

Not a word. Not a sight.

One can assume that he "handled" the situation since Ian never got arrested, nor did he get questioned about absolutely anything.

It was scary to think about at first. What he might say if he got caught.

No, I don't know how a fire could have possibly started.

No, I didn't know someone was in there.

Yes, it was-- and no, it wasn't-- an accident? It wasn't an accident in the state I was in? It was an accident because I wasn't in the right state of mind? I wasn't trying to hurt anybody. I didn't mean to-

He was left wondering in the first few months, how Roger could have covered that up so well. But if Ian remembered any lesson, it was to never look a gift horse in the mouth, so he stopped wondering.

It felt like he lost a "friend" that night. Yeah, maybe it was better that they never spoke afterwards. No suspicions raised. But at the time, that was one less person that he could go to.

Thinking back on it now though, Roger wasn't necessarily the best person for him to be around considering he instigated Ian's actions heavy. Which was bad for many reasons and some might say, Elliot might say, he took advantage of Ian's hypomanic episode to have a good time...until it stopped being a good time.

As much as Ian respects Elliot's opinion very much, he absolutely cannot bring himself to put any blame on anyone. No, Roger wasn't the greatest friend-- and he uses the term "friend" loosely when he talks about Roger—but Ian realized that he can't expect anyone to understand his disorder and automatically know the best way to go about treating him.

He doesn't hold anything against Roger when it comes to their past, but Ian's in a place now where he's glad he doesn't have a friendship like that anymore.

Friendship...

Hook ups with the straight athletic guy from high school more like it. Roger wasn't "gay". They never really talked at school or were even seen together but they hung out because Ian was the only guy Roger felt comfortable enough to take it from and they had fun together. Ian couldn't deny that he cared about him the tiniest amount. Based off of how the events unfolded, maybe Roger cared about him the tiniest amount too... or maybe Roger was just trying to cover his own ass.

Nonetheless, Ian did hurt when it was all over.

He really valued any friendships he had now since he could have counted on one hand the people in his life he considered as a friend not even a month ago.

Elliot, Georgie, Lip and... well that was pretty much it.

That's why every day for the following week, he felt like an asshole-- an asshole in serious need of caffeine.

Ian hadn't gone into the café at all after the movie night. He figured the best way to avoid any awkward conversations and possible rejection, coming from him, was to just never step inside.

He didn't even respond to Mandy's text thanking him for joining them.

Completely unnecessary for him to do any of that but he needed a moment. He already overstepped that line he didn't wanna cross when it came to integrating himself in their lives, and it's fine he supposes. If he's being honest, it's kind of exhausting remembering his past mistakes constantly. He knows that If he's so worried about the truth coming out eventually, then he can literally just start going to another coffee shop a few blocks down; buy a coffee maker; buy better coffee ground for the one at work. This going back and forth of not knowing how to feel or what to do isn't good for him.