I've discovered I'm in love with you

Part 2

John's hands ran through his hair for what felt like the fifteenth time, leaving a small sheen of visible grease in its path as he huffed audibly. He, evidently, was sharing a room with Paul as they've always done and was stuck spending his time in the bathroom as to avoid him.

The second the car dropped them off in front of the hotel, John tore ahead towards their room, not allowing himself even a glance at Paul and leaving the other three behind, confusion settled on their faces. John didn't even know if Paul had followed him or if he was even in their room at all, but decided to play it safe and not risk any contact between them.

He needed to sort out his thoughts. He felt like a prick, leaving Paul alone without a word after basically telling him he didn't love him back. He didn't even know if it was true, but he hadn't had enough time to properly digest the fact that Paul was in love with him. Breathing a heavy sigh, John decided that he needed to make a decision and tell Paul something one way or another. Paul deserved closure, good or bad.

"What's that about?" George had questioned, directing it at Paul, considering he was the one who was with him last.

Paul just shrugged, his lips pressing into a line, eyes cast downward. He desperately wanted to forget and gave a pleading look in George and Ringo's direction before speaking in a slightly strained, somewhat broken voice from his recent crying, "You lads going to a pub or somethin'? Can I come with?"

Noticing the slight wobble in Paul's tone and his wide, begging eyes, George shared a look with Ringo before nodding and beckoning Paul with a light hand on his arm. He could feel Paul's sadness seeping out of him, and he had assumed he and John must've had a row of some sort. Probably something silly, as usual, but he couldn't help but feel that the emptiness in Paul's eyes and complete drop in personality seemed to allude to a much larger issue.

"Yeah, come on."

Paul breathed a sigh of relief, happy to be guaranteed a safe distance away from confrontation with John, or worse, John acting like he didn't even exist after what they had done. He couldn't handle that thought so it was best to pretend the problem didn't exist. Everything was fine.

After making their way to the nearest bar to the hotel, Paul promptly ordered as much alcohol as he could and immediately downed it. He was actively trying to forget the entire day, and hoped that he could erase the days' events from his memory permanently with enough alcohol.

Despite having just finished his fourth drink, Paul's thoughts were only more consumed by John. He heard George and Ringo beside him chattering on about some nonsense probably, but Paul could barely focus on the conversation. He nodded along sporadically in an attempt to appear normal, but his mind felt blurry. All he could think of was John. He just wanted to talk to him and he desperately needed a hug from him. When he was this distraught, he usually went to John for comfort. That was obviously not an option at this point.

This realization instantly caused the pace of his breathing to quicken. He couldn't go to John when he was upset anymore. What would he do? John always knew how to fix him, but now he hated him. Was he ever going to be able to talk to John again? Would they be able to work together? Had a mistake in saying John's name instead of Jane ruined his entire life?

His head dropped into his hands and he slumped over the table, his shoulders sagging in defeat. He felt so incredibly stupid, his feelings of love may have cost him his favorite person in the world, the one who understood him the most, the only one who could properly console him. He quickly felt himself spiraling out of control but with the amount of alcohol he had he didn't know if he could stop it.

"Paul? You okay, mate?" He jerked at a light touch on his back and grumbled in response, refusing to pick up his head.

"Paulie?" The voice tried again, the hand moving lighting along his back.