you're safe with me

1

today i'm signing my professional contract with arsenal. i'm excited but also nervous.

i don't like making new friends, i haven't ever been really good at it.

i live with my boyfriend ben because my mums just been put in prison for attempted murder and my dad passed away last year.

i've basically got nobody now.

i walked in and jonas met me at reception.

"hi alex, it's great to meet you" he said.

"it's great to meet you too" i said nervously.

"don't be nervous. the girls are great" he said.

we went and i signed my contract and got my pictures taken.

we went to the meeting room. the girls were already in there.

"wait out here and when i call you come in" he said. i nodded.

i picked at the skin around my fingernails nervous.

"i would like to welcome our new signing alex" he said.

shit.

i can't do this.

my heart started racing and i started hyperventilating.

no i can't do it.

i turned around and rushed away.

as i went around the corner i crashed into someone. their drink fell on the floor and spilled everywhere.

"im so sorry" i said. i had tears in my eyes that threatened to spill. i couldn't look at who it was.

"hey dont worry about it. are you lost?" she asked. i shook my head.

"i'll stop bothering you" i said quietly and started to walk off.

"wait" she said.

i looked up and saw her.

leah fucking williamson.

i should be jumping in excitement but im shaking. i'm so nervous.

this isn't my first time meeting leah. i went to an arsenal match when i was 10 with my dad. leah gave me her shirt at the end of the game and i got a picture with her. we had a little chat and she told me that i could make it professionally if i believed in myself and put in the work.

and now she's standing in front of me. and we're going to work together.

i feel bad. i've walked into her and spilled her drink.

"what's your name darling" she asked. she pulled some tissues from the dispenser on the wall and put them on the spill.

"alex" i said quietly. my heart was still racing. even more than before.

"alex are you okay" she asked. i nodded.

no.

"are you sure because you don't look it" she said.

i gulped and nodded but the tears that began to roll down my cheeks told her otherwise.

"hey hey it's okay" she said, putting her bag down and hugging me.

"if it's because of the drink it's completely fine because i can just buy another" she said.

"it's a lot of things" i said.