Clock in || Securitywaiter

6

Mike

I've been thinking about things recently, reflecting on how I've chosen to handle things, sure I miss Garett, but it isn't just him I miss, it's what we had before he was gone, before my parents stopped caring about me.

They were good, they supported me even when everyone else told them they were wrong for it, they brushed it off, telling me that it was my truth and no one else's, that no one but me had a say in how I presented myself, and that was the only thing about me they respected after Garett went missing. My parents weren't the same after, they were neglectful, my mom on purpose, my dad tried but he just wasn't all there mentally, he turned to alcohol, I often found myself doing everything, getting groceries, cooking, cleaning, I'd walk almost everywhere, the only attention I got from my mom was when she was yelling at me, she'd take out all her frustrations on me, I often wore sweaters, even in the heat.

Things got better when Abby was born, they straightened themselves out..but she got almost all the attention, so I was more than happy when I finally moved out, I didn't have to deal with them anymore, I didn't have to pick up after my dad when he was past out drunk on the couch, I didn't have to live with bruises anymore, and then my mom got cancer.

My dad accepted that I didn't want to see her, so he had me watch Abby when she went for chemotherapy, or when he had to take care of her when she fell ill because of it, I didn't mind it, I liked spending time with Abby..I just didn't know that I'd be taking her in when our mom died, our Dad following shortly after. Our dad was too broken to go on, losing Garett, and then his wife, it was his last straw, so he took his own life, leaving me to raise my little sister, even though I wasn't qualified for it at all.

Taking Abby in was the least stressful thing about to all, I had to find a new job that would provide enough money to take care of the both of us, while dealing with the fact that both my parents were dead. When Aunt Jane found out, she was quick to try and squeeze herself in, seeing this as an opportunity to get easy money, I may not have been qualified to take care of a little kid but I knew I'd do better by Abby by remaining her guardian. There was no way I was just going to hand her over to the same woman that used to force me into hugs and make me cry as a kid, she tried her hardest to be nice but there was no hiding the truth, that she was a psychotic bitch. She had been bugging me for two whole years, up until I finally cut her off a month ago, I haven't heard from her since, I hope it stays that way.

Ness and I have been hanging out outside of Sparky's, he brings movies over for us to watch, getting surprised when I say I haven't seen them, most of them I haven't, but I like to lie sometimes because I find it cute how excited he gets. He comes over every other day, I have yet to go over to his place, I'm waiting for him to offer, not wanting him to do it just because I asked, it'll happen soon, he looks like he's about to whenever Smudge it brought up, I think he gets shy, maybe he's also not used to having people over.

"Mike," Abby knocked at my door.
"Come in"

She opened it, a calendar in hand.

"The calendar says man juice again"
"Oh, right, we'll have to stop by the pharmacy"
"What's man juice?" Abby knows I'm trans but she doesn't know what testosterone is, she's still confused on the fact that I was born a girl.
"It makes me look and sound like a stereotypical man"
"What would happen if you didn't have it?"
"Uh..well if I shaved my face the hair wouldn't grow back"
"Why?"
"Because my body doesn't naturally produce enough of what I need for facial hair"
"Oh okay, when are we going?" Abby didn't care about the testosterone, she just wanted to see what candy was available this time.
"Uh, we should probably get ready now, let's say..in thirty minutes"

~

"Does Ness know you were born a girl?" Abby asked, we were walking back to the car, she had chosen a box of fun dip, her mouth was blue.
"He does not"
"Why not?"
"Some people think it's wrong, I don't know if Ness would be okay with it"
"Ness is really nice, I think he'd be okay with it, he likes you a lot"
"You think so?"
"Mhm, when he was watching me he asked about you a bunch, and he comes over all the time now, he's good," she dipped her stick into the powder.
"Well just because he likes me doesn't mean he'll continue to like me when I tell him"
"He has to or I'll make him get fired from Sparky's"
"Oh yeah? How do you plan on doing that?" I opened the door for her.
"I'll say he hit me," she sat down, letting me buckle her in.
"Jesus Christ, okay, sure, that works"

I got into my car, starting it up.

"When are you going to tell him?"
"Uh..I don't know, I'm scared to, he's the best friend I've ever had, I don't want to throw that away"
"If he's really your best friend he'll like you no matter what," damn I really love this kid, she's telling me how it is while chewing on a fun dip stick.
"Yeah you're right, I hope he's okay with it"
"He will be, he has a really weird full name, if he's not you can bully him for it," oh god. Don't laugh Mike.
"I'm gonna pretend like you didn't just bash him, eat your fun dip in silence please," I should be mad, but I'm not, she's effortlessly funny.

~

After picking up my testosterone, we headed to the hospital, we hadn't seen Vanessa much lately, maybe there were times where I had the opportunity to see her but I chose to see Ness instead..but never mind that, we were going to see her now, nothing but Gatorade and fun dip in our stomaches.

"Hurry up Mike!" Abby ran down the hall, it was a bad idea to let her have sugar before visiting Vanessa, running in a hospital was something you should never do unless it was absolutely necessary.
"Hey- slow down, you're not supposed to run in here Abby!" I sped walked as fast as my average sized legs could take me.

When I saw her go into a room, I disobeyed the rules and ran in after her.

"Abby, you were supposed to wait by the door for me," she was already sat in a chair next to Vanessa's hospital bed.
"You were taking too long;" I sighed.
"Whatever. Hi Vanessa"
"Hey, I haven't seen you two in a bit, have you guys been busy lately?"
"Uh, yeah, sorry about not visiting as much"
"Oh that's alright, what have you been up to?"
"Well I have two jobs so that's been taking up most of my time, and the rest is Abby"
"And Ness," goddammit Abby.
"Who's Ness?"
"He's Mike's boyfriend"
"Abby"

My sister is homophobic, she just outed me.

"Boyfriend huh? When did that happen?" She had this smirk on her face, which pissed me off a little but I was happy to know she didn't care that I liked guys.
"He's- he's not my boyfriend, he's a friend, don't listen to her," amazing save.
"A new friend though?" Terrible save.
"He's not my boyfriend"
"But you like him"
"Abby I'm confiscating your fun dip when we get home"
"I'll tell Ness on you"
"Can we stop talking about him please?"
"Why? You like him"

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, luckily Vanessa noticed my distress and saved me with her good news.

"So..I should be able to go home tomorrow"
"Really? That's great, do you want me to come get you?"
"That'd be appreciated, yeah"
"We can go to Sparky's and she can meet Ness!" Abby got excited.
"Only if that's okay with Mike"

And that's when my little sister guilt tripped me into saying yes with her never failing pout.