no turning back

• ten •

gladys

Two dull eyes peered back at me through the mirror. I thought they looked flat and kind of lifeless, almost reflective from their emptiness.

Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I glanced over my outfit. I looked the same as I did every day—short, a bit plump, hair pinned back, and only faint traces of makeup on my face.

I was pretty, but in a squishy, average kind of way. Not that it mattered. I didn't want to impress Thomas anyway.

Part of me hoped Ben would intimidate Thomas so he would lose interest anyway. I knew that was selfish and cowardly of me, but I was petrified at the thought of him getting hurt, whether by my rejection or Elijah's vengeful tendencies.

"Well, here goes nothing," I muttered to myself as I left my bedroom.

Ben waited for me by the front door. I shuffled toward him with a yawn.

Sleep evaded me last night. The few fleeting hours of rest I might have had were filled with nightmares of how today would end.

"Good morning," Ben greeted. He opened the door and motioned for me to go first.

I stumbled out to the car and waited at the passenger door for him to unlock it. While he locked up the house, my eyes surveyed the neighborhood street.

The sun tipped just barely over the treetops. Fluffy, dark clouds drifted through the peach and lilac sky. My cheeks ached from the biting cold air, my lungs burning with each frigid inhale.

A flash of yellow from down the street caught my focus. I glanced in its direction and saw a car parked in the road. The headlights had just come on, which explained the beam of color.

"Bit nippy out," Ben muttered, drawing my focus back to him. He unlocked the car and climbed behind the wheel.

I slid into the passenger seat and shivered at the chilly leather interior. Its coolness seeped through my thin scrub pants, scattering goosebumps from my thighs to my neck.

"Alright, where's this coffee shop?" Ben asked as he cranked the heater on high.

"Just head toward the clinic," I said. "I'll direct you as we get closer."

He reversed out of the driveway and zipped off. My gaze flickered to the side mirror.

The headlights shifted as the neighbor pulled off the curb. I balanced my attention between the road and the headlights behind us.

Soon, we were turning off the main road and into the shopping plaza where the coffee shop was. The car from our neighborhood trucked on ahead. I watched it pass through the light and continue on.

Slumping forward with a sigh, I realized Ben had parked already. He shut the car off and reached for his door handle. Then he seemed to realize I hadn't moved.

"Nervous?" he asked.

My eyes fixed on the coffee shop's wide storefront window. Even though I couldn't see Thomas from here, I wanted to die of embarrassment already. My stomach buzzed like it was full of bees.

I swallowed back an excuse and shoved the door open, muttering, "Let's get this over with."

Ben walked closely by me as we approached the coffee shop. The place was slow and rather quiet for a weekday morning. I felt my face warming up on the walk to the register.