no turning back

• thirty six •

gladys

After our sordid, backseat affair, we climbed into our respective seats in the front of the car and left the mall. I brought a cool palm to my burning cheeks, wondering if I would ever not be so easily flustered. Probably not. I couldn't help that my husband liked to ravish me anywhere and everywhere like a wild animal.

"What's that for?" he asked.

I glanced curiously at him. "What?"

"You were wearing a big ass smile."

"Oh." My blush deepened again. "Just thinking about how much of a pervert you are."

His luscious lips tugged back in a smirk that momentarily made it hard to breathe. "You like it."

"I . . . can't deny you there."

Grabbing my hand from where it rested on the center console, he brought it to his lips for a light kiss. My heart stammered at his tenderness.

"What are you in the mood for, Angel?"

"For food?" I gulped, my gaze bolting away as he chuckled.

"And you say I'm the pervert."

"You are!" I insist, the words a bit shrill. "I'm fine with whatever. You decide."

"Alright, if you say so."

I nodded, trying to fan some of the heat lingering on my face. He could fluster me way too easily—it simply was not fair, nor was the fact that my fair complexion made my emotions so easy to read.

We arrived at a Greek restaurant shortly later, where, upon Elijah's request, we were led to a booth by a window. I slid into one side while he sat across from me, both of us looking out of the window at the street. The sidewalk wasn't busy by any means, but there were small clumps of people moving between storefronts or chatting. It was so normal and pleasant.

"Have you enjoyed your day, Princess?"

Drawing my chin forward, my eyes connected instantly with Eli's. The dark intensity of them lured me in, transfixing me like a cobra's dance. He could ask me to do anything with those eyes and I probably would do it. I didn't understand how one human could have this much power over me.

"Immensely," I said, flashing a cheeky smile. "It feels amazing to do normal, everyday things."

"Like fucking in the back seat."

I choked at his blatantly crude remark and he laughed. "You just like to rile me up," I grumbled bitterly.

"I do." He shrugged, shameless, with a gorgeous white smile. I so rarely got the privilege to see that smile that it made my heart flutter.

To dampen his effect on me, I dropped his gaze. Only then I found myself looking him over, noticing for the hundredth time this afternoon how the black t-shirt he wore clung to his broad shoulders and defined pecs, the way the veins strained his neck, and the sexy dark scruff that peppered his chiseled jawline and plump lips.

A low growl left him. "Maybe it's payback for how fucking crazy you drive me, looking at me like that."

Our eyes locked again and a whole ass swarm of bees raced in my stomach. Desire shined in those depthless black irises, summoning to another world. His world.

"You're insatiable," I said, withholding a smile as I shifted in my seat.

Before this conversation could spiral into another round of public affairs, a waiter appeared at the table to take our drink orders. The tension frayed slightly under the distraction, and I was grateful. We were both so tightly wound, even though we'd just fucked minutes ago. Ridiculous.

We chatted about the menu and what foods we'd had or not had, Elijah being much more well-versed in Greek foods than me. I never ate out much ever so there wasn't a lot I had tried. When the waiter returned, he ordered for us both and I was relieved to not have to make a decision for once.

I excused myself to the bathroom while we waited on our food to relieve my bladder and freshen up. While I took care of business, the bathroom door opened and shoes padded into the room. I thought nothing of it until after the loud whirring of the flush was over and little sniffles could be heard from the stall next to me.

Frowning, I debated whether or not to say anything. Sometimes a girl just needed a good, uninterrupted cry in the bathroom, totally understandable. But sometimes a girl needed help and didn't know how to ask for it.

While I patted my hands dry with a paper towel, I decided to say something. Though the whimpers had somewhat quieted, I wasn't convinced she was done. If anything, she was probably waiting for me to leave to let it all out.

"Hey," I said softly. "Are you okay in there?"

My question was met with resolute silence, like when a child has been confronted doing a naughty deed. Then I heard a throat clear.

"No . . . not really."

I leaned back against the sink, folding my arms over my chest. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Another brief silence. "I don't know."

"Why don't you come out and talk to me?"

There were some shuffling noises and then the lock clicked and the door swung open. A young woman my age appeared in the doorway. She wore a long, gray dress that loosely hung around her slender frame. A glossy, black plait wound over her shoulder, reaching to her rib cage. Two round, golden-brown eyes peered back at me. She was stunning by any measure.

"I'm Gladys," I said, then briefly panicked inside that I shouldn't have given my real name. Oh, well. Too late now.

"Cyra," she said, her cheeks flushing as she looked down at her feet.

"It's nice to meet you. So . . . did something happen? You don't have to tell me, of course. I just know it's nice to talk to a stranger sometimes."

Her lips curled ever so slightly as she met my gaze again. "It is, yeah. I'm just having a hard time, I guess."

I nodded slowly to let her know she was heard. Girl, I feel you.

"It's family drama." She shook her head, seeming embarrassed.

"I have a crazy family," I admitted. "It's tough when they're all that you've got."

"Yeah . . . it is," she drawled thoughtfully. "Well, I should get back out there. Thanks for talking to me."

I smiled. "Anytime."

She returned the gesture before shyly slipping out of the restroom. Her sudden absence left me feeling odd. Empty, in a way. I missed having girl friends to talk to. What I would give for a normal life.

It was just too dangerous to make friendships with Elijah. I'd been forced to abandon my friends back in Georgia and then after what happened with Jesse—I could never let another girl go through that. Even with Raman dead, the people that Elijah associated with were dangerous. Even though I did love Elijah, I was kidnapped and forced to marry him, for God's sake. What kind of a person would I be to expose women to my life?

A lonely one, I thought with a twinge of sadness. The heaviness of my reality weighed on me again, the joy of our 'normal' day evaporated.

I blew out a breath and cast a glance at my reflection one last time. Well, now I looked sad puppy. Great.

It won't be like this forever, I tried to assure myself. At least I did love Elijah and he was making an effort to give me more freedom. But he shouldn't have to give me freedom. I was entitled to it.

Yet, I didn't want to leave him and a part of me was resigned to the fact that our life would never be normal. Reality still burned, though, and I realized that maybe it always would.