Agape

19*

Dominic

It's been a few days since our little moment, and I'm 100% sure Dr. West is pissed at me. Again, I completely flaked on our appointment yesterday, but it was for a good reason. It's not like I didn't go to therapy. Technically, I did. It's been months since I've spoken about Gia.

I lay in bed with a sleeping Stella next to me. Her face twitched a little as she took in deep breaths. I wondered if she was having a nightmare. Was Michael the cause of it? My eyes roamed over her face, and I was blown away that this was my life. If someone had told me that two months ago in July, I would've had this angelic beauty in my bed right now, I would've laughed at you. And rightfully so, because I genuinely don't deserve her. I've done things I'm not proud of and have left blood on my hands. It's selfish of me to taint her with my impurity.

My hand lifted to her face, and I brushed her hair behind her ear. It was so curly, a jet-black contrast against my white sheets. I hated that I had to leave her today. I'd be back, but I needed to see if Damien found out anything. I needed to speak to Dr. West and, more importantly, get back to work. I wince when I think about how much I've procrastinated on sending clients their overdue commentary. I closed my eyes, and there they were. Always haunting me and always watching.

I peeled them open, and much to my chagrin, I forced them to stay open. I was so tired. I'm so tired that sometimes I'm unsure how I stand up 99% of the time. I was getting so lost in my head that I didn't notice Stella waking up.

"Hi."

Her soft voice snapped me out of my tailspin, and I looked down at her. I moved down in the bed to her level and whispered back. "Hey, how'd you sleep?" She stretched beneath me and groaned softly into her pillow. I wish I were the one making that sound come out of her mouth. "Good. Did you sleep at all?" I smiled at her question, a sad smile though. Truthfully, I wanted to answer her and say no, but I didn't. I stayed up all night. I didn't realize how long I'd taken to answer the question; I completely froze.

"Dominic?" My eyes shifted to hers, and there was a line of worry on her forehead. "I slept okay..." my voice trailed off at the end, suggesting I wanted to say something else, which I did. I kept my eyes on her and hers on me, yet that look wouldn't leave her face. She scooted closer and whispered, "You wouldn't lie to me, would you?" Her timid voice questioning me made me falter immediately.

"I'm sorry; I didn't want to worry you." I looked away from her face because I could only imagine the look of pity. I didn't want to see it, nor did I want to see it coming from her. Now she's probably upset with you. Again, you betrayed her trust, and it's not even 9 am. Do better. A pain runs through my chest at those two words. I turned to get up from the bed, feeling incredibly guilty about myself before I felt her hand. I looked back, and her eyes were wide open, hoping I would stay.

The voice in my head told me to get up and that I didn't deserve to be in this bed with her. That I didn't deserve to be in her presence. "Worry me with everything." It was the last thing I said before I turned and returned to bed with her. We didn't say anything else to each other. We just traced over each other's skin. Her nails ran up and down my tattoos, and my fingers ghosted over her hips.

I'll miss these moments of pure peace when she leaves. Who said she had to go? Well, she can't stay here forever unless she wants to. You know, willingly. I pushed the thought out of my head and wondered what time it was. I reached behind me and unthinkingly searched for my phone. I fumbled and grabbed onto it, finally peeking at the time.

8:30

I groaned when I saw the time flashing on my screen. I only had a few more minutes before getting to the office. I placed it behind my back and grabbed her cheek, catching her off guard with a kiss. Our legs intertwined as her hands became one with my hair. My hand roamed all over her ass, her waist, her hips and her thighs, her calves- anything I could get them on. The kiss started to heat up, and she nipped at my bottom lip. She bit it again and surprised me by sucking on my bottom lip. My eyebrows furrowed, and a small moan traveled its way up my throat. My hips constantly rocked against hers, looking for some relief. Jeez, this girl has me feeling like I'm 16 again.