Agape

24*

Stella

I didn't sleep at all the entire night. I was trying to process everything that happened in the last few hours. My eyes stayed locked on his face as his chest rose up and down silently. I tried to understand the man I'd been staying with these past few months. Months? That's ridiculous! God, do I even still have an apartment? Am I technically living here- I ignore those thoughts and push them far in the back.

But it's true, it's unbelievable. Dominic's family is in the mafia, which means he's in the mafia. Does that mean he could be ordered to kill me? Would he do it? If someone didn't like me, could they just call him to kill me? Thoughts like those passed through my head, and I couldn't lie; I was a little scared. Not of Dominic, but of what comes with being in the mafia- can I even say the word? Isn't that taboo to talk about it? Will I have to be initiated into it?

I reached out and caressed his cheek. I found it so hard to believe that this man was capable of killing. The man who cannot sleep without me had killed hundreds if not thousands of men since he was 13. He's been so gentle with me that I would've never expected it. I moved closer to him and intertwined our legs. My heart broke for him; he was still a hurt 17-year-old. No matter what he said, I saw it in his actions tonight. The lashing out and the yelling were all defense mechanisms. I'd seen enough of that with Melissa and Rosa that I knew what it was the second I saw it.

God, I have friends. Melissa, Rosa, and Alexis. Lord have mercy, they're going to kill me! The slightest thought of Rosa and Alexis made me frown. I'd ignored everyone entirely for the sake of my sanity and protection. It was a decision I'd make again, but now I had to clean up after myself, which I wasn't particularly keen on doing. When I got up, I made a lunch date with the girls and my mom. Since my dad died, we'd all found each other somehow, and this was the most extended I'd gone without talking to them.

I know I was scaring them, but I had to keep my distance. The truth was that I was afraid that Michael would come after them. Especially now knowing that his father is as crazy and mental as him. I'd gotten so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize Dominic was moving in the bed a little too much. His face was contorting into one of pain, and I didn't want to see it anymore. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. I could feel his heart pounding in his chest against my tiny hand, and I whispered, "It's only a nightmare..." I placed a chaste kiss on his lips and whispered again, "I love you." His breathing slowly returned to normal, and I was shocked it worked.

I flipped onto my back and sighed in frustration. I couldn't sleep. I took one last glance at Dominic before I got up. It was cold in his apartment at night, so I grabbed one of the dozens of blankets off the bed. I wrapped it around myself and walked out quietly into the hallway. I didn't know exactly what I would do now that I was up. I wasn't hungry or thirsty; I couldn't sleep.

I walked around the apartment, thankful for the moonlight illuminating my path. I passed by so many doors and wondered what each was for. I walked up to one I was familiar with and stepped inside. His office smelled just like him, like jasmine? I smile to myself at the notion of finally figuring out his scent. Not creepy at all. Carry on-

I walk up to his desk and run my fingers along it. The ridges in the wood give me a sense of nostalgia. The dents and scratches gave me a sense of dark history. I turned to look at his bookshelf and couldn't help but smile. Every book known to man was probably in his collection. Familiar authors like Edgar Allen Poe and Langston Hughes were in his group. I saw a picture frame in the corner of my eye and reached for it.

It was a picture of a young Dominic next to who I presumed to be his father. You could see the tension between them even through this picture. The resemblance to his father was striking; I couldn't help but wonder why he always felt so guilty. Did it have something to do with how much he looked like him? There go those psych classes being put to use! College money not wasted- entirely... I snort at my brain, and I put the picture back down. I turn the chair, and I swivel back around to the computer screen. I tap on the keyboard, and a bright light illuminates my face. I wince at the brightness and then notice a password bar popping up. "A password..." I wracked my brain for what I thought it could be and hoped that whatever I input didn't lock his computer. Not much seemed essential to him, so I tried the apparent names first: Gia and Noah. I was shocked to see that it didn't work. Suddenly, a notice pops up.