We havent talked in a while. I dont realy have an excuse. I could say mental health but i also write on here when it gets bad so like...yk.
My birthday was a bit ago, that was fun.
Anyways, im dropping the cheery-ness here.
I fucking hate my life
Im not even trying anymore
My whole existance relies on others at this point
Waiting for someone to love me
Waiting for someone to make the first move
Because im certainly not
I dont know who to love
Nor if i even want to
Love scares me
I cant commit to shit
I dont want to reply to the several messages i keep getting
They only text when im not okay
But never acknowledge that im not okay
Always ignore me when i try to make conversation
But no, because this morning i made a vow to myself to try harder to make my friends happy and never show feekings
Bur no, i give up
I give up trying
If i die, i die.
If they leave, they leave.
I could care less at this point.
Thats why i cut myself
To bring the feeling back
Because when i dont, its null, numb, and empty.
I just need someone to hold
And maybe a therapist.
