Hetalia Headcanons - Except It's All Complete Stupidity

#3

Every time Russia buys birdseed, he buys the cardinal mix.

Why, you may ask, would he buy it if cardinals don't even live in Russia?

You'll see.

As you may know, cardinal mix birdseed has an abundance of sunflower seeds.

So, Russia separates the sunflower seeds out, and puts the remaining birdseed into the bird feeder.

Then, he plants the extracted sunflower seeds, and puts them in a greenhouse.

The seeds never grow, but he keeps trying.

You thought this would be somewhat wholesome, didn't you?

Anyways, the reason why the sunflowers never grow is because America knows that Russia does this.

So, every time, after Russia has planted the seeds, America sneaks into the greenhouse, digs up the sunflower seeds, places the dirt so that it looks like nothing happened, takes the seeds home, washes them, and eats them.

Of course, he has no idea that he just ate birdseed seeds, he just thinks they're regular seeds.