" I'm so sorry I haven't written a lot lately. Michael went back home a few days ago. We spent Christmas together since his parents we on a vacation according to him. I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes. I'm so happy. He's the only thing that is making me smile. Calum and I have been talking cause Mikey forced me to. He says I'm forgiven and understands I needed time. I've been thinking, if I have never met Michael, would I be alive? Probably not. I found out I do have depression yesterday. I'm on artificial happiness which always makes it worse. I do know that if/when I die, this notebook will be going to Mikey. I want him to have it when I'm gone. We've been texting nonstop. I miss him so much. I can't wait until we see each other again. I have this bad feeling he's going to cheat on me because of the distance. I always feel something bad will happen with everything good that happens to me. Why? I don't know. Oh well.
I found out I'm fully gay. I don't like boobs but I like dick. That sounded weirder than I expected it to. It's 1:47am right now so I'm going to go to sleep.
-Hemmo xx "
