Let Yourself Fall (Liam Payne)

Chapter 38 ~ Liam

Chapter 38 ~ Liam

I can’t sleep, during the whole night all I can think of is Darcy. What will she do? Will she stay? Will she come back to London? I wish, oh so ardently, for her to come back, but I know that would hurt her. But how can I be apart from her again? I know I promised her that I would support her, but I really want her choose to me.

I feel terrible with myself, knowing that I want her to choose me over her family. And that’s the reason why I can’t tell her how much I want her to go back home with me. I can’t do that to her, it wouldn’t be fair and it would mean I don’t deserve her. I want to be worthy of her.

I’m really, really tired the next morning when Niall comes looking for me, telling me that the van is already waiting to take us to the venue for the sound check and a bit of rehearsal for the show tonight. I really want to stay here and try to catch some sleep, but I have a job to do. Plus, I know I’ll meet with Darcy there and if the possibility of her choosing to stay here is so plausible, I want to make every second I can have with her these days count.

“You look really tired,” Niall points out and I’m not in the mood to be nice this morning.

“Tell me something I don’t know. I didn’t sleep at all,” I answer with a low and sharp tone.

“Darcy, isn’t it? You’re thinking that after this you won’t see her in a long time, right?” I look at him surprised for how well he has picked up what’s going on. “I know it’s hard, Liam. Distance is bloody difficult, but she is eighteen, she will want to live by her own soon and maybe she will come back to London by then. I’m sure she won’t stay here forever.”

I wish I could be as sure as Niall about this, but I know Darcy. I know her better than he does and the bonding she has with her little sister is the strongest thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t think there’s something in this world that can cut that, nor even Darcy’s happiness. She is capable of everything just to make Lizzie happy and I’m afraid that may cost us our relationship.

But I don’t want to lose her. I love her and I know she brings the best of me, I know I’m a better Liam when I’m with her. I live my life, I make her live hers, she understands me and supports me, she cares so much about me and she makes me feel… whole. Like there’s nothing missing in my life. Even if there is something, I don’t miss it because when she is with me, I don’t need anything else.

I sigh deeply as we keep walking. “I can’t go other six months without seeing her, Niall. Skype is not enough, you know?”

“It’ll work out, mate. Believe me,” the Irish lad says taking my shoulder and squeezing it gently. I try to smile at him, but it’s rather difficult when I can’t be at ease with my thoughts.

The van takes us to the venue and we’re halfway to the sound check when I see her with Lizzie holding her hand and another girl about her age at the other side, smiling brightly. The girl is shorter than Darcy for a few inches, long and really curly brown hair, very feminine features and a huge smile. She dresses like Darcy, casually and feminine. Something tells me she is Maje, Darcy’s friend.

I forget I’m doing sound check when I see her, trying to jump off the stage just to get to her sooner. She smiles at me sweetly but then, as she gets closer, I see the fatigue in her eyes, in the dark bags under her eyes and I wonder if she slept last night. Maybe it was a difficult night for her too. Yeah, probably it was even harder for her.

I hear people calling my name, but I ignore them as I jump off the stage and run towards Darcy just to grab her in my arms as soon as I’m in front of her. I saw her last night, but still. After so long, I need to have her close all the time, just to make sure she is here, with me.