Let Yourself Fall (Liam Payne)

Chapter 24 ~ Liam

Chapter 24 ~ Liam 

I wake up at the sound of someone calling me “Lilipooh!” and, as usual, I cringe. Why does Niall insist on calling me that? I don’t think he would like if I go around calling him Ninipooh, would he? “Wake up, you sleepy head! There are people waiting to see you!”

I open my eyes slowly, aware that I’m still in the hospital and that the brightness of the room will most likely blind me. As I adjust my sight to the lights and shadows of the room, I focus all the faces that surround my bed. Not only the lads are there, Eleanor and Perrie are also smiling at me. Mum is not around and I wonder if she is resting as well or just giving us some space.

“Hi, Liam! How are you feeling?” Perrie asks with a sweet smile and worry in her eyes. Zayn has his arm around her waist, keeping her close.

“I’m feeling better,” I answer though I still feel tad bit tired. “What time is it? Where’s Mum?” I ask immediately next, looking around but not finding her. “Darcy?”

“It’s past noon already. We convinced your mum to go to your place and take a nap or something. She looked really tired. Darcy hasn’t come back yet. Do you need something?” Harry asks and I shake my head carefully.

“We’ve all been so worried. When Louis told me I wanted to come immediately,” Eleanor tells me taking my forearm and giving me a gentle squeeze to show her concern. “I’m glad that you’re feeling better.”

“What happened? I didn’t understand what the Doctor told us all last night,” Niall asks and they all look a tad embarrassed and confused.

I sigh deeply. I still hate that I’m in this position again, that my body failed me again and that this time I am actually the one to blame. “One of my kidneys stopped working again. It stopped a while ago already and that caused me a temporary case of anaemia. That’s why I was so tired and I didn’t want to eat. Plus, the stress we’re under only made things worse.”

I hear them all catching their breaths and I close my eyes for a few seconds, just to prepare myself for all the pitiful looks I’m going to receive now. It’s unavoidable.

“I’m so sorry.”

“That’s awful!”

“You’ll be okay”

And so many other things they all say in unison, pity in their eyes as I expected. “It’s my fault,” I add and they shut up, confused looks replacing the compassionated ones they were wearing before. “I didn’t take care of myself as I should’ve. I behaved as if I didn’t have any limitation and that only jeopardised my health. Because I was reckless, my kidney didn’t last as long as it should’ve. So yeah, it’s my bloody fault this happened.”

They say nothing. Perrie and Eleanor even look away when I meet their eyes and I don’t blame them. It’s not that they can tell me that it was an accident or that it’s not my fault, because it is. I ignored my condition and acted irresponsibly. Now I have to pay the price.

“You’ll be fine. It’s not like you haven’t gone through this already,” Niall states offhandedly and everyone around gasps. Harry even smacks him on the head. “Oi! It’s true, don’t look at me like that.”

“But you could be more sensitive about it!” Perrie reprimands him and Niall rolls his eyes.

“What I mean is that you’ve gone through this already, you did it once. You can do it again. I know it sucks and that it’s terrible that it’s happening again when we all thought it was over, but it’s not the end, mate. We met you like this and we all know how strong you are and how capable of facing this. Among all of us, I’m sure you’re the only one who can face this and win the battle.” Niall smiles and shrugs as if what he’s saying is the most obvious thing in the world. “You can make it, so chin up, mate. It’s not the end.” The Irish boy pats my shoulder and smiles encouragingly and I remember Darcy’s words again. There’re loads of more things to fight for.