Rick and Morty x Male Reader

Pilot

The Smith family is currently having breakfast in their dining room.

Jerry - I see there's a new episode of that singing show tonight. Who do you guys think is gonna be the best singer? 

The family is uninterested in Jerry's show until Morty falls asleep at the table, smashing his face into his plate and calling everyone's attention.

Summer - Oh my God, his head is in his food. I'm going to puke.

Beth - Morty, are you getting sick? 

Morty lifts his head, with clear exhaustion, and wipes the food from his face.

Beth - I told you not to practice-kiss the living room pillow. The dog sleeps on it.

Morty - I wasn't kissing a pillow, Mom. I just I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. Maybe my dreams were just too loud or something.

The family hears a door open and the eldest son comes out of his room in the basement.

Beth - Morning Jack.

Jack - Morinen ma

Jerry - Well look who decided to wake in the morning.

Jack flips off Jerry and sits down next to Summer, Jack looks at Morty who's tired.

Jack - What's with me 

Summer - He was out all night again with Grandpa Rick.

Jerry - What?

Jack - I knew I heard something.

Beth - Dad?

Rick - What, so everyone's supposed to sleep every single night now? You realize that nighttime makes up half of all time?

Jerry - Damn it!

Beth - Jerry!

Jerry - Beth!

Summer - Oh my god, my parents are so loud, I want to die.

Jack - Sorry Summer but ain't no god  gonna save you from this.

Rick - Jack right there is no God, Summer. You gotta rip that band-aid off now. You'll thank me later.

Jerry is glaring at Rick for taking Morty out at night.

Jerry - Okay, with all due respect, Rick— what am I talking about? What respect is due? How is my son supposed to pass his classes if you keep dragging him off for high-concept Sci-Fi rigamarole?

Rick - Listen, Jerry. I-I-I don't want to overstep my bounds or anything. It's your house. It's your world. You're a real Julius Caesar but I'll tell you something—tell you how I feel about school, Jerry. It's a waste of time.

Jack - Truer words Rick.

Jack agrees with Rick as he stares incredulously at Jerry.

Rick - Buncha people running around, bumping into each other. G-guy up front says, "two plus two." The people in the back say, "four." Then the—then the bell rings, and they give you a carton of milk and a piece of paper that says you can go take a dump or something. I mean, it's not a place for smart people, Jerry. And I know that's not a popular opinion, but it's my two cents on the issue.

Rick wipes his mouth and gets up, stopping behind Beth and putting a hand on her shoulder.

Rick - This was a good breakfast, Beth. You really made the crap out of those eggs. I wish your mother was here to eat them.