Rick and Morty x Male Reader

Anatomy Park

At the Smith House Jerry is singing a Christmas song.

Jerry -  Last King Christmas last arrived!

In the kitchen, Jerry is taking a ham out of the oven and adds it to the mess of food in various stages of preparation still singing

Jerry - In the Christmas Christmas! 

Jerry stops singing and smells the ham. 

Jerry - Mmm... Jerry, you are really giving it to this ham.

Jerry enters the living room, with the family but they are all occupied with electronics, and Havoc is sleeping.

Jerry - Um, Merry Christmas?  Helloooo? 

Jerry - My parents are coming over for the first time in years! Can we stow the gadgets and look alive?

Beth - Alive? For your parents?

Jerry snags her tablet away and stows it in a stocking.

Jerry - Good one.

Beth - Hey man!

Jerry - You 'hey man'! This holiday is about humanity.

Morty - You know, I thought it was about being born half-God or something.

Jerry - Okay, whatever. All electronic items are going in the stocking. Now.

Morty - Ohhhh...

Summer - Dad, I'm not giving you my phone.

Jerry - Put it in the stocking, Summer, or I'm joining Facebook.

Summer gasps and drops her phone in the stocking.

Jerry - And where is Jack?

Beth - He had some business to take care of?

Summer - What does he do again?

Beth - He's an intergalactic pirate mob boss.

Jerry - So a criminal.

Morty - He says he's more like a necessary evil.

Jerry - But he's still a criminal.

Beth - I don't think Havoc will like you bad-mouthing Jack.

Jerry looks over to Havoc low growling with a little bit of acid dripping from his mouth then they all hear Rick.

Rick - Ho ho ho, everybody.

Rick enters the house with a homeless man as Jerry approaches them.

Jerry - More like whoa whoa whoa. What is this? My parents are coming!

Rick - Calm down Jerry, this is Ruben, an old friend.

Ruben - Pearl Harbor.

Rick - I check in on him once a year and give him a little medical evaluation.

Beth - A - w, Dad... That is so sweet.

Jerry squinting suspiciously at Rick's answer

Jerry - Yeah, it is... I don't get it.

Ruben - Korea.

Rick - Don't worry about your C-C-Christmas, Jerry. *leads Ruben away* Ruben and I'll be in my workshop while you have another day in Phil Collins' proverbial paradise.

Rick and Ruben head out to the garage.

Jerry - Huh. You think you know a guy. 

The house doorbell rings.