Call Me Romantic (BxB) [BEING REWRITEN]

Chapter 6

{ꔫ Nash past - Natalie ꔫ}

Natalie slips her oversized green hoodie off. The locker room has always been hell for her. She never felt very comfortable around other girls changing. Nor is she comfortable with her own body and the way it developed over the last 2 years. She looks down and sees the bra she has to wear. She hates her chest, she hates her curves, and she hates how wide her hips are.

It makes her feel like this body is not her own. This body was made for some other girl, but God fucked up and gave it to her instead. She wishes she could go back to her childhood days (even though she's still a kid) and relive when things were so similar. Gender and gender roles didn't have to be so complicated for people, and they could just enjoy going outside and playing baseball. That stuff doesn’t happen anymore though. Natalie knows people grow up and become less interested in toys and more interested in looks and their future. She feels the same way, but not the way other girls do. Sure girls can wish they didn’t have periods of a chest but not to this amount. This can’t be normal, right?

If girls at her age are excited to develop, then why does she cry in the mirror before showering? Why did she have this feeling that no one else can relate to no matter how much she asks others? She sometimes thinks of ways she can rip off her chest or shave herself like cheese against a cheese grater with her hips. It sounds too painful so she opts out of that idea. She puts on her red gym shirt with the school's logo on it, a tiger. Zipping her bag close, she moves on because that's what people have to do. Move on.

Natalie has been finding it very hard to pull her eyes away from the boys, and not in the way you think. They have flat bodies and no periods those lucky fucking bastards. She wishes she could be a boy sometimes. Most of the time. All the time. Maybe too much.

"Nat!! Nats!!" A girl yells as she jogs over; she's wearing the same red t-shirt with short black shorts, with white sneakers.

"Hey Nova," Natalie greets as she puts her puffy, thick hair into a ponytail. Natalie never knows how to control her hair, so she lets it roam free. Sienna always offered to help, but Natalie refused after ending up getting frustrated, and crying when Ember tried it with her and it turned into angry brushing, tugging, and pulling.

"Oh my god, I've been waiting all day to tell you something!" Nova squeaks. She has always been a quiet person, but once you get to know her, she gets more comfortable and talkative. Natalie does the same and that's why they are best friends. That little connection can lead to so much.

"what's up?"

Nova smiles, excited to spill whatever she has to Natalie. "I know you have lesbian moms and stuff, so I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to GSA with me,” she starts.

"gsa?" Natalie knows what GSA is. Sienna and Ember rave about it and how they never had that comfortable space when they were younger. They've been trying to get Natalie and Val to join since they've had the choice. Val went once and never did it again, while Natalie never went. Though she should, it would be good to learn more about the community her moms are in. Natalie never really thought about her sexuality, but one thing is for sure: She loves Sam Carter, a boy she does not know if she wants to be or wants to be with. His brunette hair is silk and healthy, he's not very tall, about 5 '2— but maybe that'll change, his romantic brown dark eyes, and the way he smiles and one dimple appears. Natalie has to shake herself out of thinking about him so deeply like that. Though he is so handsome, and ever since he helped Natalie with homework, she's been in love.

"I'll go," Natalie tried to cover up the fact that she was thinking about a boy. If Nova catches her, she'll bug her about it and then make flirty comments. She'll never shut up about it.

"great! It's after school today in the cafe. I better see you there." She demands but it means well. She goes off, grabbing a volleyball to finally get started with practicing streaking the ball.

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"You came!" Nova hugs Natalie and then gestures to her at a long cafeteria table filled with students of all ranges of grades. There are a bunch of kids, a bunch of snacks, and a bunch of flags that Natalie has never known before. Pink, yellow, blue, black, gray, purple, white.. so many.

After a while, the teachers who hold this club get the students to settle down as they wheel in a broad. "Settle down, settle down! Sit in your seats! AVA SIT DOWN." The man yells sternly. The man is rather short, maybe around 5 '4? Crap, do they not get any taller? He has stubble and is wearing a button-up with tan jeans. So, basic teacher clothes.

The man welcomes all the students and first introduces himself as Mr. Mason. He tells us his pronouns and that he/it/they and pansexual. Natalie raises her brows; there's more than just straight, bisexual, lesbian, and gay. Genders too, she had no idea you could go by them and it. Not every 5 minutes into this guy talking and she already looks up to him.

"Since last time we talked about sexualities, today we will be talking about different genders," Mr. Mason states as he points to the board of different types of flags. so many colors, so many choices, and so many labels. It makes Natalie's head hurt, but it also looks so beautiful.  Mr. Mason explains to the students about the different genders there are and that everyone's journey with their identity is different. How gender and sexuality are fluid and you don’t need to stick to one, so express it. Even if people put you down over it.

Natalie has a feeling in her stomach. She doesn't know what exactly it is, but it feels fuzzy, warm, and content. Like after a cold winter, the hot weather comes back and it feels so refreshing. It feels like she's been outside of a circle her whole life, and now she's inside of it. At once, she found her circle. She understands this a bit too much. Not only that, but it speaks to her too. She's never felt so.

understood.

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