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N E I l {age: 18}
I wanted to be anywhere but here. Gosh, I felt stuck as I was surrounded by a bunch of relatives I'd never once in my lifestyle ever seen. My mother was doing the honours of introducing me to each one of them much to my disdain.
A woman dressed in a very shimmery saree enough to hurt my eyesight flashed a very bright smile towards me, the remnants of coriander from the starter dishes stuck between them. Gross
"Oh Neil beta pehchan mujhe?", she pulled my cheeks and cooed at me. I had the biggest dislike towards people who pulled at my cheeks, I hated whenever someone went for my cheeks. Koi bachao yaar mujhe, meri handsome si shakal per daag!
[Translation: Oh Neil, son you recognised me?
Someone, please save me, a stain on my handsome face!]
"Aap vhi ho na jisse Maine bachpan meh dekha tha? Jab Mai bohot chota tha", I replied with a really forced smile earning a smack on my back from my mother who gritted some incoherent words under her breath.
[Translation: Are you the same one whom I saw in my childhood? when I was very young]
"Behave", she warned glaring at me and making me pout. Meri kya galti thi? All I did was tit for tat! [Translation: What was my mistake?]
I hated attending social gatherings because of this shit. A random uncle or aunty would pull you and pop your happiness bubble by inquiring about your career planning. They wouldn't care about themselves but would want the whole report about what's going on in your life and wouldn't stop until extracting every piece of information from you. They would go like,
"beta 10th ke baad kya?" "beta 12th ke baad kya?" "beta college ke baad kya?" "beta naukri ke baad kya?" "beta shaadi ke baad kya?" "beta bachhon ke baad kya?" MAUT AUNTY! MAUT! ap bhi try karke dekho.
[Translation: "Son, what after the 10th?" "Son, what after the 12th?" "Son, what after college?" "Son, what after the job?" "Son, what after marriage?" "What after kids?" DEATH AUNTY! DEATH! You too try it and see.]
I clicked my tongue in annoyance and made a futile attempt to escape but was stopped by an uncle who wanted me to motivate his son to be serious and consistent about his career. Bhai koi bachao mujhe! [Translation: someone save me]
I flashed them a sarcastic smile but alas had to knock some sense into the guy who wanted to be anywhere but here. Us bro us!
