CHARLOTTE

CHAPTER X

Using my eyelids to blink as much as I could. My body was suffering an earthquake from inside, every piece of organ felt out of its place. And nature just had to do their job by making me throw up all over. Every single spit, scraped my throat leaving behind a bridge of pure acidic saliva. I cleaned my mouth and watched where the liquid had been deposited. The substance had no clear consistency which spoke the fact that through all this time. My body was only loaded with thin oxygen.

By this time without anything on my organism. My body should feel light as a feather and probably I would have gone to involuntary sleep. But nothing of that occurred, which was a lighting miracle for me.

The decomposing smell hoarded my nose, giving me the sign that it was the correct hour to flee from that place and move like there was no tomorrow.

I kept deepening myself into the spiral, even though my mind was a blur, it felt protected for a barrier, as if everything was making sense to me. But that was such a shame, indeed it felt nice to slowly put things in order but this still didn't give me the answers I needed.

This time the way down felt longer than usual, the monochrome walls made the illusion of being stuck. Despite every step or jump, there wasn't any notorious change. So this might be what you feel when someone is trapped in between the gears of time. My stubborn self didn't allow me to give up. So I just stopped. I breathed in and out. I slowed down the organ that's supposed to circulate blood, and I established a plan on my frontal lobe. If I really am on a loop or trapped in time, then there must be an action that breaks the circle. And that action or rather that sensation must be pain. Physical to be more specific.

You might wonder how I got with this idea, and no, I'm not a masochist. Have I said that before?, oh well who cares. My major inconvenience right now is the lack of any self harm objects. So I have to get creative. It was time to make something magical. The injury doesn't need to be that deep, just a simple scar will be enough.

I cautiously grabbed a lower button from my shirt. Some of these were like a brooch, I proceeded to detach it and finally, now, I had a little needle. My bones were trembling and my chest was being hitten each second passed faster. My lungs were filling with little rocks that enabled me to breathe. My desperation left out right from my mouth an enormous scream. I frantically threw the white button away. I couldn't believe the weakness I had running through my veins. How was it possible that such a small thing could generate so much uncertainty in me.

I instantly regretted my past action and crouched to find the thin almost invisible metal. It shouldn't have gone far, also the lonely place was pretty narrow. I felt I was getting blinder each time, the warm light didn't help at all. My hand slowly approached a corner and a shiver met with my finger. I had finally found it, an exhale left my chained lungs and relief began filling my soul.

But then out of nowhere. My whole being was pushed down the stairs by something, or rather someone. The thing that hit me felt heavy and flat. I spun around the few stairs left, but it was a miracle that I didn't break any bones. When I stopped right at the end of the hall, my sore back perceived that the object that mistroot me was in fact a foot.

As I was rubbing my back, my sight went up. The horrible emotion of nostalgia struck me like lightning. I hated this feeling. I was placed in a small room department. The empty walls, the dirty floor, the squeaking doors. Everything in that place was disgusting, I remember that was the little department where I used to live when I entered university. Frustration clouded my mind. I know something that ashamed me had happened there, but I can't remember what it was. I tried and tried but everything was in vain.

I walked into what was my room, it was like always, curtains closed, the bed was made up, the furry rug made contrast with the color of the place where you should keep your clothes. The only thing that was not the same when I left was my desk. A wooden, simple desk that usually was docked with a bunch of papers, and books from school. But this time it was clean, the only thing sitting in there was a red envelope attached with a note outside with the words "Open the left drawer". I couldn't mistake it, that was my handwriting. The round and small vocals harmonized between them.

I drifted towards the light brown drawer and gently pulled it over since sometimes it gave me some troubles when I had to open it. What I encountered next was really unexpected, I didn't even know what was the meaning or use of it. The peculiar object I met upon with, was a serpent made out of textile fibers. It was a rope, but this one was tied up carefully making a knot. A hangman 's knot.

I was unsure of the purpose of this item. Without any hesitation I grabbed and placed it on top of the surface the envelope was on. I sat down on the matching furniture the desk had. My eyes drew fine lines as I kept track of every small detail the message had. The thin material used to express tons of words, went wiggling itself slowly to the floor.

My lungs weren't able to work for a short period of time, and white was everything inside my little and weak thinking muscle. The next thoughts were not clear for me, I think I was so moved I couldn't even make complete sentences.