CHARLOTTE

CHAPTER XI

Numbness, emotional numbness to specify, the sensation of losing something so close to your heart, but realizing you don't care anymore. You could see the most precious person or possession being thrown to the lighting carmesí that doomed a lot of souls previously, and you would turn your back away from it. You lose everything from you, your reason to be, your perception of the world. Not enough words can describe the damage people are being wrapped up to.

The entire room lost all its color, the ticking of the metal needles slowed down. The small noises the house made were muffled. My body was oppressed with invisible chains restricting my moves. All that was happening seemed meaningless. Ideas that didn't make any sense to me began to be spoken out loud. These were being louder and louder, I couldn't shut them down.

My knees met my upper body and my dominant hand met the waterfall that was supposed to be in my eyes. But instead, the only touchable thing was the smooth and dry pale organ. The tears had evaporated from my body, just like the feelings I used to have. A heart made out of coal had formed beneath the flesh layers my anatomy proportioned.

I give up, all my efforts, all my decisions, the things I tried to change to improve myself, to get out, everything, it's just useless. Maybe this will be the end of the line, a cold place where not even crickets can be heard and the sun can't make its presence. I'll end up here forgotten like an old doll whose fate is to rot away on a dusty shelf.

But it's fine, afterall, it's my destiny I can't change it. I thought that maybe if I just close my eyes, all my problems will disappear and a brand new day will come. I internally said farewell to my life full of mistakes. My eyelids were feeling heavier with each breath, my limbs were relaxing, and my mind began to float over the clouds. I began to imagine a world I wouldn't be able to live in, just a mere fantasy, but at least I was happy, that's all I wanted since the beginning.

The smell of flowers and sweets didn't last much, of course it's impossible for me to get what I really want. My soul was being aggressively grasped away from the flow of thoughts that showered me. A pair of hands, some soft hands that reached me, but their touch ached. They were burning my skin, and finally I opened my eyes to this fantasy world.

Nothing, that was what surrounded everything in that room. I was in a place I had never been before a white room. The pacific place had the silence of an aquarium, in front of my sight there it was. The floating mirror again, with my trembling feet I standed up and went straightforward to where It was. The story repeats, my reflection was there, with the emptiness reaching my back.

I was admiring myself as I kept wondering if there was still a ray of hope out there, why would I be pushed away from my sweet dream, there's no apparent reason. Or that's what I thought, when an elongated whistle was heard. The dying tone of it smoothed out every part inside me. It felt like a welcoming hug after a long trip far from home.

I didn't take any major importance to the mirror and continued following the song out of heaven. Walking and walking seemed to lead me nowhere, I was getting a little frustrated, but then thanks to a miracle, there it was. I first took notice of a shadow far away. And that's when I spotted her, a beautiful girl, with her flaming hair and her dark attire.

When she realized my presence, her song stopped and went walking to me. She gave a peaceful vibe, but her face and steps said the contrary. She was in a rush to get to me. I just stood up there not knowing what to do, and before I acknowledged she was staring into my soul. Her eyes pierce me. I got a little panicked. She started screaming at me for no reason, and I couldn't get away from her, she had clutched her paws on my shoulders and her grip was heavier than twenty rocks.

I couldn't answer back at her, I felt scared and the words were muffling, the only heardable thing were the words, -Why?, wake up, you're stupid -. I raised up my hands and tried to remove hers from me. Her nails were digging under my skin, why she hated me so much if I admired her. Finally I got out and she was surprised too. I demanded a proper explanation but she was being irrational.

And that when I did something unexpectable, I raised my voice to her. I hadn't done that in a lot of time, I felt pretty guilty but that calmed her down. After the commotion I watched her face, her factions were similar to mine.

She noticed I stared at her face for a long time, she told me an explanation would be given to me but later, right now it wasn't the time to. Now that you think about it, our voices echoed through the whole place. It was strange but our talk even if it seemed unordinary, I felt like a little child around her mom with her. The strange unnamed red-haired girl.