Longing: a yearning desire
"You...you make me feel things, and I hate it, no I- I hate you " she confessed in frustration.
"I love you too" he admitted with a bright smile.
-when given the chance to move on and start over she finds herself in a cir...
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Heavenly
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Y/p (a bit of Narrative view ) Song: home- vacation Garrison cafe, Friday evening ════ ⋆★⋆ ════
You ever feel like the perfect world you created wasn't enough, like it will never be enough to satisfy that hunger within you .
I do, and because of that, the utopia I created crumbled, and before I realized it, it'd already become a dystopia, full of disaster and despair in every corner.
I wanted to forget, so I made a new life, and in the process, I forgot to break the ties I had to my old one, and someone caught onto that. Now they caught onto me and my lies.
Now I'll never forget...
It makes me wonder why I was so desperate to remember in the first place and why I wanted to find out who I truly was, because now that I know, I wish that I had just stopped digging.
The crumbled-up news paper stayed stuck in my grip, my hands shaking, my breathing heavy, and my head pounding with fear.
"I know who you are."
That's what the news paper with a specific headline had written in red ink, but did they really know who I truly was underneath the facade because, in my mind, I'm still just a kid, a scared little girl?
One who did multiple bad things out of fear.
I placed the paper back on the table and covered my ears with my hands. An old coping mechanism that I was taught when I used to have panic attacks.
I felt like tiny needles were sticking into my skin, my hands sweating, my breath heaving, and the pounding sound of my heart beating faster and faster.
My world was spinning. I wanted it all to end for my life to go back to normal, but it never would because my life was never normal and it never would be.
And that was all my fault. The reason why my life would never go back to normal was because I wasn't normal and I never had been, and that realization of my reality struck me hard, like I was getting stabbed over and over again.
"Cover your ears and imagine the sound of running water... Don't listen to her voice. Just look at me, okay y/n/n "
And so I did. I held onto my ears tightly and imagined running water bringing me afloat.
I always found tranquility in the water; it always seemed to soothe me no matter what, and I'd let it do that until the day I died.
