Raw

2.

u hurt me and I still loved you.
|I still thought about u when I woke up in the morning and then I went to bed at night, I thought about you when English got boring and when I opened my phone at 3 am.
and I still think about us and what we could've been, I wake up from crying in my sleep. 
"i miss him" I say "omg calm down" but how can I calm down when i think about him when I look at his hoodies, and my breath in the cold.
 I think of my mothers words when she had nightmares "whats the point of a pulse" that line runs thru my mind as if i could live without one.
 I want to go out and I want to distract myself when all i can think about is your pulse.
I scroll thru the photos on my phone and I see your picture.
although I swore I deleted it i open it and look into your blue eyes.
I watch the video of you putting axe in the ceiling tiles in the school bathrooms.
Most of all I think of how much I talked about you and how much I wanted you to stay in my life when you where in other girls lives.
"do they know about me?" I think to myself but I didn't exist to him anymore after he said "wyll" after knowing them for aproximetally 24 seconds.