DYSTYCHIPHOBIA

PART 1

Pawin sat down on his table that is full of presents from everyone who is interested in him. He couldn't throw it away so he just gave some to his friends. This is expected as tomorrow is Valentine's Day. He sighs as he thinks about it and wraps his hand in his face. How could he stand with this thing in the past 3 years ? He also didn't know.

" Oii phi...what's with that tight face? " His junior, Khaotung asks while sitting next to him with his other friend, First or should he say ' faen ' ?!?
" Right...you been sighing for a long time now. " First noticed Pawin.
" Nothing...I have many presents,would you like some? " Pawin asks them both.
" It's okay na phi. It's for you..just keep it yourself " Khaotung answered.
" But it's a lot for me to finish it...*sigh* It would be better if I'm as honest as you " Pawin clearly disappointed of himself. He exhales deeply to calm himself down again. Both First and Khaotung didn't clearly hear his last sentence and were going to ask again but Pawin already cuts them off while smiling to prevent suspicion from them.
" But it's okay...don't worry. I'll share it with others too. "
First and Khaotung suspect nothing by his beautiful smile.
" Okay ! " They said and disappeared within the doors.

Suddenly someone comes to Pawin's table and ask for his book to copy the notes.
" Aii Win! Can I copy your notes? "
Pawin didn't want to give it because he have to study but his heart says other. But looking at the face of the requester that looks desperate, he felt so pity that he couldn't turn down the request so he just give it . It was so easy for him to help people's problem. Even if it will give him trouble. That's him...a guy who people thought can be manipulated easily. A guy who can never turn down any request cause of fear.

Pawin sighs deeply within his own thoughts then proceed to prepare for the next period by clearing his table that's full of presents. Not gonna lie...he hate being center of something. Being with so many people counting on him,he becomes anxious. He's afraid of people's bad feelings for him. Whether they're angry, mad or even worse hurt by his actions or words. He doesn't want others to feel the same way as him.

He's in his deep thoughts.... What if one day he didn't did something they expected from him? What if he hurted them by accident? What if they were disappointed in him? What if he says something he shouldn't? What if..? What if...? What if...?

Pawin started shivering as he's feeling anxious by his thoughts. His hand is shaking hard so it's feet. He breaths heavily than usual. Sweats are over him. He needs to be relaxed but his method aren't working. He tried to breathe in and out but it isn't working. He gave up relaxing himself . He leave the lectures room and went to the men's toilet immediately. The room was confused but continue their lesson anyways.

As soon as Pawin arrived at the toilet, he immediately goes to one of the toilet cubicle and closed the door with shaky hand and looked the door. He felt really anxious that no one could ever imagined. He leans on the door with a trembling body along with shaky hands and feet. He felt fears. What if.....? What if....? He thinks about bad scenarios in his head. That makes his fears even worse. His breathing becomes heavy.
" No..no..no!! "
Pawin breaths even heavier. His heart was pumping faster . He shrugs himself off as he encourages himself to fight the thoughts in his head that flashing back his past.