Birthright

Guilty Feelings

"Will you lie, STILL woman!" Thor growled at her impatiently. "How can they help you if you insist on wriggling around like a fish on a line!?" He wasn't angry. He was just frustrated. Why had HE to bring her to the healers. Why not Loki? She was HIS problem after all!

Asa lay on the soul forge, her image projected above her, the healers working on her injuries. None were, thankfully, life threatening. Add them all up, though, and they made for a truly battered body. Not as battered as her mind, it had to be said.

Asa had never known a feeling like it.

"I'm sorry, Thor, truly I am. I know I have let you down - both of you." Asa was tired and emotional. It had been awful to see her Queen taken down like that. She should have protected her. It should have been her day to go to Valhalla." Tears of shame burned her cheeks. "If I could have died in her stead..." she began, but Thor held up a hand to quieten her.

"Then I should have been VERY annoyed. Not to mention, scared!" He smiled gently.

"Scared?" She was confused.

"Yes, scared. Have you ever seen Loki when he loses something precious to him?" There was a warmth to Thor's voice, depth of meaning that made her blush. She looked at him, silently shaking her head.

"Well, I have. It started a long time ago, when we were young. I was to blame then, too. Apparently, I was rude to his new friend, and he never saw her again after that." He stared at her, and she realised that he, too, recalled the orchard.

"Oh my!" Was all she could say.

"Oh my indeed." The third voice coming from the doorway.

"Loki!" Thor and Asa called out in unison. He walked over, hugging Thor tightly. They stood, eyes closed, arms around each other, and mourned their mother. Asa looked away, as distraught as them in her own way. Guilt surged through her. How would Loki ever forgive her if she couldn't forgive herself.

For now, though, the navel gazing would have to wait. She swallowed and looked back from where she lay on the soul forge.

"My Princes..." she began, a hitch in her voice. "I am sorry for your loss, truly, but we need to deal with that murderous hag that passes for your sister. The longer she is here, the more chance that she will find a way to release herself from the enchantment on the manacles."

Asa tried to sit up but felt a searing pain through her,so lay back. "Do not move, Captain." One of the healers spoke to her softly. "You have broken many ribs. We can heal them, but you can not move yet." Asa groaned and closed her eyes in a frustrated scowl.

"They're right, Asa." Loki walked over to her and laid a hand on her shoulder carefully. "We need you to be fit..." he paused and looked into her eyes. "I need you." He smiled softly, and her eyes filled with tears.

She looked away, crushed by her own guilt. "Thank you, Prince Loki." She said quietly. "I am, as always, at your service." She didn't look back at him, and he withdrew his hand slowly. There was a change in her, like something had closed off. He wasn't sure what had happened, but they didn't have time right now.

"I will be back shortly." He said softly, his voice low and soft. Whatever was troubling her, he didn't want to add to it. "We'll deal with Hela together."

Leaving her to the final stages of treatment, he walked over to Thor. "What happened to her?" He whispered, his face full of anxiety. Thor shook his head.

"I don't really know. Maybe there's something we didn't see? Didn't hear?" He sighed, "all I know is she's sad and scared. More than she lets on."

"It's almost like we hadn't..." Loki trailed off realising what he was about to admit to Thor. He looked down, and Thor smiled. His little brother really WAS back.

"It will be ok, we just need to deal with our sister, then we can sort this - whatever this is - out." Thor walked to the door, "I'm going to the prison block. Meet me there when she's ready." He left, cloak swishing in his wake.

Loki was standing on the balcony of the anteroom, looking out over the city, when Asa finally made her appearance. Outwardly, at least, she appeared to be healed.

"I'm ready, my Prince." She saluted him, fist to armour. Her eyes were clouded, her heart torn. She had killed his mother. She truly believed that she would never be forgiven.

Loki looked over his shoulder, "Come here. I want you to see something." He said softly. He turned away, and she walked over, her feet echoing on the flagstones in the quiet.

"What do you see?" He asked. "Out there. What do you see?" He didn't look at her. He just stared straight ahead. Asa looked at him. His profile made her want to cry and kiss him and beg forgiveness. He was, quite simply the most handsome man she had ever fallen in love with.

Yes. She loved him. But she could never tell him. Not now.

Instead, she looked out as he'd told her. "Nothing out of the ordinary. Just the city. Quiet, peaceful. Maybe a little too quiet?" She shrugged.

"Exactly. Peace. And who is responsible for that peace?" He continued to look away.

"I... I'm not sure. Lady Sif and the Warriors? Yourself? Prince Thor..." She was almost talking to herself; her voice was so small and quiet. Loki waited till he was sure she'd stopped.

"No. Well, yes, in part. But you're forgetting someone. Someone important. Someone who swore to protect the realm. " He turned and looked down at her, his eyes burning with anger and regret. Or so she thought.

"Her Majesty?" She whispered, barely breathing now.

"In part."

There was an interminable silence as they looked at each other. Asa desperately wanted to kiss him. To hold him. To say she was sorry. All she did was politely say, "Your Highness. My sword is Asgard's sword. My life is Asgard's life."

It was the classic Valkyrie response.

Loki looked at her. She really had no idea. Such a formal response. She really had changed. He knew he had to try to fix this, but now wasn't the time.

"Come, we need to deal with Hela. Your sword is Asgard's, eh? Well, Captain, let's make the most of that sword, shall we?" He started to walk off, back into the palace, then paused.

"Asa. Wait." He put a hand on her arm and she looked down at it, then up to his eyes. Pale and shaking, she waited. "When all this..." he waved a hand in the general direction of the city, "is sorted? You and I need to talk. So please? Whatever happens next? Just... don't die, ok?"

Asa nodded. He truly was lost to her. Talk? Usually, that meant bad news. With a small hitch in her voice, "ok. I'll try my pri..."

"Loki." He interrupted her. "Just Loki."

"Loki." She repeated, and to his ears, it sounded like beautiful music. Music that was almost drowned out by the general alarm now sounding.

Loki and Asa looked at each other. With one voice, they called out, "HELA!" Then took to their heels.

This was not good......