It's All an Illusion

What's happening?

Today was the WORST day ever. Ive had the worst stomache aches, and my ears keep ringing. It feels like my brain is bouncing back and forth in circles around my head. No medicine is working. Am i dying? Am i? Or this medicine just sucks. I really don't know whats going on. My parents aren't home. So what? They wouldn't care anyways. They haven't said a word to me in only a few months.

My friends are dropping me. Looks like they don't care either. I have always known that. It's like dropping a stone into the ocean and not going back down to pick it up. They never paid attention to me. All i did was care for them. I was by their side. Well, guess i wasn't because they werent by my side. They were behind my back. My secrets were lost. I shouldn't even call them secrets. I don't even know what to call them at this point. I might as well just admit to them. Everyone already knows. Whats the point of keeping told "secrets" a secret? No point in that.

There's eagles flying around the house. Does it mean something? What does it mean? Am I out of my mind? Whats going on? They've been there the past few days. Maybe weeks. Or months. I can never focus on things. As someone who reads , it confuses me alot. Maybe I am out of my mind. Maybe, it's all an illusion.. Who knows? Not me. Not my parents. Not anyone around me. What's going on? I don't know. I don't care. I would rather have any life than this one. Good parents. True friends. People who will stick with me. People who i can actually trust. People who i can.. love.