Jupiter (satosugu)

Chapter Three - Cigarettes and Tears

WARNING : MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, DRUG USE, SUICIDE, AND AN EMOTIONAL MAKE OUT SESSION. IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ANY OF THESE THINGS, PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER OR STOP READING ENTIRELY. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

(For the people staying this does not include smut just yet I'm tryna slowburn this yknow)

Margaret - Lana del rey

THIRD PERSPECTIVE

As they kissed, all the emotions that had been built up over these two weeks flooded into the kiss. All the sadness, anger, and regret. Everything, and as tears flowed down Suguru's face, with an occasional one coming down Satoru's, they kissed each other deeper, deeper, to let the other know what they thought. Satoru's other hand cupped Suguru's other cheek, and Suguru's hands found Satoru's hair. Suguru's tears stopped flowing as he was then overcome with the feeling of safety and security, his fingers wandering through Gojo's hair, his nails grazing his scalp, earning a groan from Satoru. In retaliation, Satoru bit Suguru's bottom lip, allowing his tongue to swirl the entrance of Suguru's mouth. A muffled whimper travelled from Suguru's throat to the back of Gojo's, but even if normally this would be a simple situation between the two of them, it was different now. Suguru was supposed to be an enemy of Gojo's, but there was nothing the two of them could do. It was like something was pulling them together, something stronger than gravity. The kiss was full of sadness, but joy too. Both of them couldn't live without the other. Suguru would smoke himself to death, and Satoru would stop taking care of himself. He'd probably die of dehydration, something stupid like that. No, he'd kill himself if Suguru died before him. He'd already been contemplating it, but as long as Suguru was alive he had a reason to live. He knew it was stupid, living for someone else, but it was the only reason he could find. The same was true on Suguru's end, before he left Jujutsu High, he held a knife to his own throat. And on a mission he decided that he'd die, and almost let a curse swallow him before Shoko deflected the curse before it could. But he couldn't bring himself the slice through his own throat, because the image of the person he loved flashed into his mind, a happy smile on the white haired mans face whenever he entered their dorm. But the urge was sometimes too much, so he'd have to make himself feel alive again. But the only cure to that problem was Satoru Gojo, or a cigarette. Multiple cigarettes.  Suguru had tried drugs, anything to make him feel like he wasn't just a husk of a human body, and that he had a soul. But nothing compared to the love and safety he was provided with when he was kissed or hugged or touched by Gojo Satoru. It's tragic, so tragic to think that they both only felt truly alive when in eachothers presence. Even so, they kissed each other and explored eachother's bodies with their hands. The scars and cigarette burns on Suguru's back from when he was a child, and his father hit him and his mother used him as an extinguisher for when she smoked were touched by Satoru; The roughness of Satoru's hands from how much he was forced to train skimmed over Suguru's back. Life was black and white without the other, but when their lives collided, it was like someone poured vibrant paint onto their lives. And as Satoru's warm hands returned colour to Suguru's life, he couldn't help but be overcome with the feeling of guilt. Here he was, kissing Satoru like a starved dog, but they would have to fight. Gojo then pulled away, breathing heavily.

"Suguru."

"What is it?"

"Just forget about what's happening outside of us. Yaga, Shoko, Nanami.. I know you're feeling guilty." Suguru gulped, his lips parting slightly. Maybe he relaxed too much around Satoru, because now it was like Gojo knew the inner workings of his mind. Still, Suguru nodded and pressed his lips onto Gojo's, leaning upwards on the bean bag. Satoru's hands rested on Suguru's shoulders, his thumb caressing Geto's collarbone gently. Suguru leaned forwards more, pushing Satoru's back to the floor. They kissed for a long time, but it never got tiring. It was how Suguru showed his love, and Gojo was not complaining. Eventually, Suguru pulled away and just rested his head on Satoru's chest, breathing heavily.

"Suguru? Are you okay?" Satoru asked, his voice laced with concern.

"Yeah I'm just tired." Suguru sighed, releasing a little tension from his body.

"Mkay, just rest." Gojo whispered, a small smile curving up on his lips. He could finally let go of his thoughts and rest, because he now had Suguru's head resting on his stomach peacefully. He felt sleep call on him as his eyelids drooped, and he allowed them to shut. He felt Geto breathe, his heart beat, his hair sprawled all over his shirt, every tiny shift or big movement. It felt so good to know that even for just a night, that he would be able to rest with the man he loved. Satoru didn't know what the next night would be like, or the night after that, but right now he just wanted to focus on the moment, and the moment was Suguru.

They both fell asleep within the next ten minutes, on Suguru's carpet. The pair hadn't been able to sleep on their beds, and could hardly sleep anywhere else, but when with each other they dreamt joyful dreams and slept soundly, unlike Suguru waking up screaming or Satoru just mindlessly scrolling away on his phone or watching movies because he couldn't care less if he was tired or not. They were careless with themselves on their own, but with each other they reminded themselves to be their best versions for the other person because they loved one another.

short ass chapter but its 3am and my eye is super itchy and I just wanted to get this out there so I didn't have to worry Abt it in the morning :')

thank you so much for reading <33 love all of you so much

BY THE WAY THE REASON I SWITCHED OUT THEIR NAMES FROM TIME TO TIME like Satoru to gojo or suguru to geto is because WHY DO I NEED TO USE THEIR NAMES SOOO MUCH ITS ANNOYING I FELT LIKE I WAS WRITING "Satoru and suguru walked down suguru and then Satoru and geto and gojo" like idk I just wanted to switch it up to keep it fresh also pls I'm legit not that good at English so this is just me writing casuallyyyy