Know your worth

Childhood

I was just a kid and it still hurts my adult heart to see my childhood that way.
It all start by you are trying to make new friends in middle school. I have always been the lonely kid with no one to play with. Teachers coming towards me asking me why am I not playing with the other kids. I have nothing to tell her I don't even know why myself. I got used to it.
Going out during lunch break to walk and kick some rocks with the shoes my parents got me at the thrift stores almost about to breakdown. I never had anything new as a kid my whole closet came from the thrift store. The same little pink leggings with a hole in that I've been wearing for a week straight.
I was an innocent kid wondering why no one wants to play with me. My parents didn't do my hair every morning like all the other girls did. My lunch wasn't so nice after looking at all the others kids with different snacks when I could only afford eating the same lunch for the whole month. Oh let's not forget going back home to an unhealthy home, being really scared of your dad that would hit you and your little brothers and watching your mom crying begging your dad to stop..
Always hearing your parents arguing all day long.. Go lass shattering but you don't dare go look because you are scared.

I was just a kid
I didn't know how to make friends I was weird looking.
When I slowly got older I tried again to make friends it worked better because you know you gotta find the other kids that are exactly like you or worst. Stay with the kid that gets bullied. I would heard them say awful things about her. Her name was Laurie. Fair skin with red hair, she was a bit chubby and you could imagine why other girls were bullying her. She was really nice to me why not after all we are both not liked. We would spend lunch break together sitting next to these popular girls that think they are superior to others. Hearing them saying "oh shes sticking with Laurie now cause she got no friends" yeah so funny..
I stopped talking to Laurie.
I was too ashamed, being alone was more safe to me. Other kids judgement would hurts me a lot. Cannot blame me I was just a kid and didn't know a single thing.
I made two other friends later on they were really nice they didn't mind what I looked like they just wanted to play. They were not being judged by the popular girls which was great.
More I grew I wanted to gain more attention. I tried to join the basketball teams to make more friends, I also wanted to approach these popular girls so much. They were basically perfect to me no matter the bad thing they said.

What a waste of time..
When I started high school I couldn't care less about these worthless bitches.