Married to Prince Khaleefah

The best option

" Amjad... " Ayman trailed off, but Amjad had already gone downstairs.

" Go after him! " Ayman yelled, and I ran after Amjad, and called out to him before he entered his car.

" Ayman! Please wait. " I called out, but he kept walking away from me, and it hurt my heart.

I knew I had been so selfish, but I didn't plan on telling him about my past just yet. Even the thought made me sick, would he still love me, if I told him the truth?

" I beg you, please wait, you can leave after that. "

" So you can lie to me again?!? Humayra, we loved each other, or so I thought, but it was just a one-sided love, I loved you, but it wasn't reciprocated, you just used me. You wanted to purify yourself with me! I get it if you may have been raped or it was your fault, but wouldn't you have told me.  Our wedding date is meant to be fixed tomorrow, what stopped you from telling me. " He wore an angry face, but I could see the sadness laced in his voice, I wasn't fair. Not at all.

" Please... Just... " I said, breaking into painful sobs, we walked towards each other, with a safe distance between us.

" Please Forgive me. " I said, looking at my feet.

" You can only forgive what you know. " He said, and I looked up at him, hoping he wouldn't ask me to explain.

" Yes, tell me what you've been holding to yourself, or... Let's break up. " he said, and I saw my dreams shatter.

I couldn't tell him, not yet. Only my husband has that right to know, and I'm not sure we'll get married.

We weren't meant for each other, he wasn't even in my destiny, was I even destined to be with anybody, I am a living mess. We had to end things here.

" Fine.... " I trailed off.

" Meaning? " he asked, raising a brow at me, and I blinked back the tears in my eyes, and looked up at him.

" Let's Break up. " I said it, and didn't even wait to hear his reply, as I ran upstairs, I bumped into Ayrah.

" Why are you crying? " she asked with fake attention.

" Your 'baby' broke up with you? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Sorry, sis. Guess you aren't meant to be happy. Anyways, you weren't even going to tell him the truth, were you? " she mocked me, and I tried hiding my tears.

" I haven't time for you. Just leave me! " I said with a sad voice, but she mocked me, and pushed me away.

" Get out of my sight! Prostitute! " she said, and I ran upstairs, getting into my room, to see Ayman sit worriedly on my bed.

" What happened? " he asked me.

" We've.... "

" Speak! " he ordered in fear.

" We broke up! We are no longer together! " I yelled, and he fell back on my bed.

" How could he?... "

" I need to be alone. " I said calmly.

" You can't. " he refused, and I glared at him.

" You know why you can't stay alone when you are depressed. " he said, and I fixed my glare on him.

" Why? Why can't I? Say it! " I said in anger, I wanted him to say what he meant.

" I can't. "

" Say it! " I insisted, holding his shoulders in anger.

" Stop being a Child! " he yelled, pulling my hands off his shoulders.

" A child? Wow! Tell me what you want to say! If you are man enough. "
I kept being adamant, and he yelled.

" You are Suicidal! You don't have the mental balance to stay alone in a situation like this. "

It broke my heart, my knight called me a mad person.

" I am Sor... " he began, but I cut him off.

" Leave my room. "

" What? "

" LEAVE MY ROOM! " I yelled, and he flinched backwards. He sighed, and went towards the door, and turned around before saying.

" I'll be sitting at your door. In case you want to talk. " he said, and left, and I locked the door.

I fell on the floor, weeping my heart out. " Why? Why Oh Allah? Why me? What did I ever do wrong? " I questioned, all sense of religion leaving my body.

I didn't care whether I was wrong or not. I have endured too much to live.
Death is the best choice.

I got up, wiped my tears, and climbed down my window. I kept walking, not knowing where I was going, I did know , I was going to Death, but where or how I'll find it, I didn't know.

I used the money I had on me to buy a gasoline, and a box of matches. I went to the roadside dump, and sighed, I gathered some trash in a circle, poured the gasoline, and brought out a matchstick, I lit the match, and threw it into the pile, I watched as it caught fire.

I'm gonna die soon, life — it wasn't fair to me, at the age of nine, I lost happiness, no matter what I'll get, it would never match what I've lost.

I stared at the fire, as it became larger, I felt like throwing all my sadness into the fire, but it wasn't possible. Enough about myself, I deserve death for my crimes, I have killed innocent people, other people, I ruined people's lives, that's why mum never liked me, that's why Amjad chose to leave me, well I left him but no man would even want to stay with me, knowing about my past.

" Goodbye, Sad world. " I said one last time, and laughed, I removed my phone, my ring, necklace, shoes, and cleaned the lip gloss on my face, and jumped into the fire.

It sent a stinging sensation on my skin, I began to yell, not for help, it was the last thing I ever wanted — to live again. The pain was unbearable, I felt my skin tearing apart, it wasn't suicide, it was justice. The punishment for Murder is Death, I murdered several people, I need to die. I felt a hand pull my hand, and threw me to the soil, a blanket covering my hot body, I tried to see who it was that ruined my life, that wanted more pain for me, but my eyes went black, and I didn't know where I was any longer.