One Last Chance

Chapter 2 : Trepidation

Summary : The fear of failure. (You can skip because this is just Monika's thoughts and all. Next chapter will be VERY important i promise this was just unecessary writing practice lol.)

               Monika walked out, bag holder in hand and was umblemished, usually she would abandon Sayori all by herself, as she was packing her stuff. But weirdly Monika waited by the door, leaning to a wall outside the clubroom as Sayori slowly packed her stuff. Soon enough, Sayori was finished and enthuastically tiptoed outside, and jumped, her shoulders recoiling upwards with her eyes widened seeing the sight of Monika leaning to a wall right outside the clubroom, next to the door specifically. She was at the verge of sleeping, as the brunette glanced to Sayori, she stared, unmoving and unblinking. "O-oh! Sayori i suppose your finished packing?" Monika asked, and fixed her posture back to proper. Sayori was still dismayed. Monika knew the reason, and that is 'why did Monika wait for her?' it was clear, Monika had never waited for someone before. The opposite duo, Yuri and Natsuki went home together anyways. 

            Sayori blinked, probably in disbelief. "Yeah..im done packing..why did you wait for me?" she curiously asked, Monika flinched and her mind was electrified with confusion, why did she wait for Sayori? Well, she didnt particularly care anyways. Monika shambled on the way to the exit, not glancing behind Sayori one last time. But did hear footsteps, the silence and ambience was uncomfortable, with Sayori walking right behind her Monika felt nervous, hesistant even though all Sayori showed was excitement, happiness and support for her President. "So..Monika! What poem theme is going to be tomorrow?" her bubbly, cheerful voice, gentle and recognizable. It is no better than the old game file, Monika can still imagine it. Her dead, croaky, and hoarse voice. Monika. Why are you crying? Isnt this what you wanted? You wanted this. Monika snapped out of it, and just glanced to Sayori with a weak smile that didnt reach her ears. "Its going to be about friendships." As the brunette said, they reached Sayori's house which is next to Monikas. As usual, the bubbly vice president shared a wave with Monika and strolled all the way to her house, closing the door. 

               Monika couldnt bare, seeing her best friend just act so dangerously cheerful and happy already broke her. Her regrets from her violations back then few years ago still hasnt left her alone, the laceration is still seeped into her skin and mentally in her head. She cant blame Sayori. Her mom left her, her dad is always busy to work, most of the time shes alone and nobody understands her, never. It ached Monika. Why did she feel sympathy for Sayori? What changed her? It was like a transition to before and after in that ineluctable anguished void. That void changed Monika, and she was glad she did. Monika was hesitant to go home, if she even had one. Monika then took the thought back, seeing an excessive house with soft emerald stripes around, a giant sign right infront of her. "Monika Salvato..Salvo's my last name..?" she entered the house anyway. 

 Inside was grand, at the left was a huge area with the fluffiest white rug, aswell placed with a furniture seating for around 4 people, in the form of a bench with a back, with two armrest at each end and wholly upholstered fitted with springs, tailored cushions and stuff. It looked comfortable to lay and sit on. Monika stripped her brunette blazer off, and took a seat in the comfy couch, taking an attempt to relax. But as much as how relaxed she looks, inside her mind was a grubby mess, tons and tons of strategies of fixing her clubmate's problems were in her mind and it caused a sharp pain in her frontal skull. Her eyes clenched shut, her eyebrows furrowing in distress and exertion. Monika springed up in a stiff posture and trudged on the way upstairs, at the end of her small unsteady walk she limped on the bed. Still thinking about how in the world will she achieve a happy ending, well. If all of them die, soon enough she will be resistuted to that empty painful void. 

 She laid in her bed for a little, then triumphatly springed up finally mentally congratulating herself for having the best idea. 'Communication.' Shes brains and beauty, but mostly stupid when it comes to fixing real life problems. All she thought was coding, bad therapy, and other uneccesary stuff. But she didnt think of one thing and thats communication, she sinisterly smiled and looked at the day, it marks the day of friday which means theres no school tomorrow, a great thing entered her mind. Starting off with communicating to Sayori, not that she will do it right away, but tomorrow. Just thinking about the happy ending, Natsuki's venomous fangs chasing down the tall ramrod Yuri across a flat, beautiful field, while the brunette and the cheerful bubbly cinnamon happily consuming sweets above the malleable red-white square rug, every figure of Monika's clubmate smiling viciously in a good way. She wanted that. But as big as her expectations were, she still feared failure. 

         "What if they still.?" Monika fidgets with her hair, trembling and rapidly breathing afraid for her clubmates, she stood up and looked at herself in the reflective surface, called a mirror. She can see that her hair was rich peanut darkbrownish descending grubby waves down to her waist. Each single strand was tangled to another, it held a glimmer of the moonlight that made Monika look beautifully ugly at the same time, Monika sighed. The sight of her having tangled chestnut hair did not look right, but did not care for her own hair hygiene. Looking at herself, in the dark before midnight. She asked herself. "Who am i?" but no response came to attend. Each second of staring at herself the world becomes more static, like the world was glitching in a bad manner. It pained Monika's eyes, and her pupils widened at the sudden flick of static.

 "Just forget it..im going to sleep." Monika limped on her bed as she felt her eyelids becoming heavy. She gave in, surrounded by a deep slumber.