Too Little, Too Late

46

In the places she and Ibtihaj visited and through the words of those who'd known the squad personally (and from a distance), Ayra lived through what Ibrahim's life had been while in Leicester. It was a very painful ride.

They visited the libraries where she pictured Ibrahim reading with Bella and the others. In cafes, she learned what had been his favourite things to order and how he was rarely alone. If he wasn't part of a study group, she was told, then he was with Bella or he was with the others and if they weren't coming up with a plan they wanted to bring to life after graduation, they were catching up on what they'd missed or they were neck deep in mischief.

In clubhouses and bars, she found out what Ibrahim's drinking pattern was once he and the squad went to party or when he went alone with Bella; one glass of one expensive wine or the other which he nursed throughout the time they spent, taking little sips. They told her and Ibtihaj that Ibrahim was always the most sober, except on rare occasions when the squad got him to join them in drinking to stupor.

In alleyways and in shops, she found out spots where he kissed and had been kissed, all of the kisses shared with none other than Bella. In restaurants, she found out where they'd gone on dates and how he always had a flower; a classic red rose or when the celebration called for it, a bouquet of whatever it is she'd been talking about.

Ibrahim Fahad, she learned, was held in high regards by those who knew him and those who knew about him. When it came to his relationship with Bella, there were only two sides; those who could die on the hill that they were endgame and then those who saw them as a beautiful couple but were sure they wouldn't end up staying together until the end of time. There was no in-between.

Although Ayra told herself she didn't care, she sometimes found herself wondering how things would have been if life had turned out differently and both of them – Ibrahim and Bella – had been allowed to get married to each other.

Maybe they would have been happy, she told herself, or maybe they'd have realised they didn't quite fit and maybe they would have gone their separate ways when they didn't have more they could do to keep their relationship going.

At the end of the day, she would never know. Things didn't happen differently and she was living in the reality of all of it.

On their last night in Leicester, Adil invited them for dinner at an upscale restaurant downtown. When he said he was alone as Ayman had gone to Manchester to sort out a few things, Ayra decided to back out of the dinner and didn't rest until she'd convinced Ibtihaj to go and make the most of it.

After all, Ayra said, Adil was going to make a move to marry Ibtihaj one day and she wasn't going to let what had become of her own love story stop her from ensuring Ibtihaj's love story bloomed in the best of ways. Ibtihaj had done way too much for her and she was always going to be grateful.

That night, as she lay in bed, Ayra thought about Ayman for the first time and how throughout the ride from the airport to Leicester, he'd been different from the man she met in the café. He smiled the same way and had the same manner of speech but throughout the ride, she'd learnt that he was more of a listener than a talker and somehow, being in that same vehicle with him brought a calmness she appreciated more than anything. She wanted to tell him thank you but he was in Manchester, according to Adil, and she had no way to reach him. So she put it at the back of her mind to say thank you when next she saw him. If all went well with Adil and Ibtihaj, she had no doubt she and Ayman would see themselves more.

She rolled over to lie on her back and for the longest moment, she stared at the ceiling, her mind blank. When a thought crept in, she found herself wondering how things would unravel on Ibrahim's end, especially with how the dynamics of the squad was changing, heading towards a situation where they'd have to decide if they were going to move forward together or apart.