You are on your way home from work. It was a busy, but a fun day. You work with children and love them. But it is also exhausting, so you are always happy to go home. What makes you happier, is the thought of having your boyfriend at home. He is away a lot for his work, but that makes the times he is at home a lot more wholesome. Who your boyfriend is? Formula 1 driver Logan Sargeant. It is difficult sometimes, because last year, when he was still in F2, he was also away and traveling, but the F2 calendar doesn't have that many races as the F1 does. So sometimes, when there was a Formula 1 race, there would not be a Formula 2 race.
It is a week without a race, so Logan is currently home a lot. He still needs to train and do some simulator work, but other than that he is home and it just makes you happy to come home and find your boyfriend cooking or just chilling. But you are also worried about him. This is his first season in F1 and although he is happy he made it, he also finds it hard to adjust to Formula 1 and the car. It is different to a Formula 2 car. He knew it wouldn't be easy. Being a rookie isn't easy and to be the first American enter Formula 1 in a long time is weighing on him. Everyone has expectations and everyone is comparing him to his teammate Alex Albon and other rookies, like Oscar Piatri. The first races it is understandable when you don't qualify good or finish the race as 20th, but after some time, people expect the driver to have adjusted to the car and deliver. He sees Oscar doing good and the comments of everyone comparing him to other drivers and it is making his insecurities rise. He has these doubts and insecurities if he is made to be in Formula 1 and if he ever can deliver what people expect him to do.
You see how it is breaking him slowly. All of it is getting to him and you just don't know how to help him. You are incredibly proud of him for even making it to Formula 1, because the chance of getting in is slim. It is paining you how he is doubting himself and talking himself down, saying he isn't good enough and he needs to do better. You remind him he is doing the best he can and everyone has his own pace of adjusting, but he isn't listening and you just don't know how to get through to him.
You are eager to go home and be with Logan and spending some time with him. You both need it. It is busy in the centre of London, where Logan and you live. When walking away from work, you already see the Tube station ahead of you. That is the easiest way to move through London. You have a driver licence, but rarely take the car. Simply because everything is reachable through public transport. The Tube is busy, which is understandable. Everyone is done with their work or school and wants to go home. Luckily you can find a seat next to someone else and sit down. The journey to home is going by fast and before you know it, you are home.
''Babe, I am home!'' you say so Logan knows you are home. Normally Logan will shout back something or he kisses you hello, but now it stays quiet. You find it strange. He didn't need to be at the factory today and he certainly would have let you know if he got called in. ''Babe? Are you home?''
Still no answer. Arriving in the living room, you see his things laying around, so he is home. Maybe he is showering, you think and go to the bathroom, only finding it empty. The next target is the bedroom. When you arrive, you see the door slightly ajar and hear a soft voice. It is Logan talking to himself. But it isn't the talking you hoped. It are not positive words you hear and this is where you were afraid of. He is talking bad of himself again and you hear his insecurities and doubts taking over. After the last race, where he crashed, he has been trash talking himself and is constantly reading comments on Twitter and Instagram. It just hurts you to see him like this. You haven't seen him so insecure in a long time.
''Why is Logan even in Formula 1?'' you hear him say. ''He is bad. Can't believe Williams gave him a chance. Can we have Latifi back? He did better than Logan is doing now. Can't believe Williams gave Logan a seat when he finished 4th in F2.''
