You find yourself standing in front of the mirror. You need to get dressed for dinner, but you can't bring yourself to do it. The idea of going out, eating and facing those dishes already makes you feel thick. You've struggled with an eating disorder in the past and even though you were doing well, a comment from one of your boyfriend's friends about your appearance lingers in your mind.
Charles, your boyfriend, scolded his friend for the comment, but it still haunts you. As you look at yourself in the mirror, you can't shake the feeling that he might be right – that you're becoming thicker, gaining weight and you hate it. Despite trying to ignore the thoughts and comments from both his friend and the fans that come with being in a relationship with a famous person, it's getting to you.
Being the girlfriend of someone famous has its challenges and while you love Charles and feel fortunate to be with him, the hateful comments are taking a toll on your mental well-being. You've been trying to brush it off for the past few days, but it's becoming increasingly difficult.
You haven't shared these thoughts with Charles; you don't want to worry him. He has other concerns and you don't want to be one of them. You tell yourself you're doing fine and that everything will be okay. But deep down, you question whether it will truly be fine.
"Y/N, are you almost done?" you hear him ask through the door. "It's almost time to go."
Glancing at the clock, you realize he's right. Quickly getting dressed, you walk up to him. When he sees you, a beautiful smile spreads across his face. He opens his arms, and you share a warm hug.
"You look beautiful as always," he compliments you.
You just smile and plant a kiss on his lips. However, in the background, those voices in your head start their relentless chatter, telling you that you don't deserve him and that he doesn't mean what he says.
You are pathetic. You don't deserve him. Loser. You are a broken mess. He is only with you because he thinks you are a charity case.
Charles must have noticed that you are lost in your thoughts because he asks if you are okay. You nod but avoid looking at him.
"Are you sure?" he asks, a hint of worry in his voice. "Because if you're not, it's okay, and we can just stay home."
You are ruining his plans with your pathetic behavior.
"No, I am okay. Let's go. We are already on the late side," you respond, trying to push away the intrusive thoughts. You look at him, still seeing a hint of worry and hesitation in his eyes, but he nods and follows you outside. The mantra plays in your mind: Just act normal. The ride to the restaurant is filled with talking and laughing. Arriving at the fancy restaurant he chose, he gives his name and you're led to a table. It feels great to be out again. You order your drinks; he chooses wine, while you stick to water. Soon, you order your food, and as you peruse the menu, the familiar voices start to creep in.
You want to order just a salad, but Charles would notice. So, you decide to order something else, promising yourself that you'll work out twice as hard tomorrow. You don't want to ruin this night.
The evening progresses well, and you manage to ignore the voices for the most part. However, you don't eat much. You hope Charles doesn't notice, but luck isn't on your side.
"What's wrong?" he asks. "You aren't eating a lot. Normally you would already be finished with your food."
"I am just not that hungry today."
"So there is something wrong. What is it?"
"Nothing, babe. Sometimes you just aren't hungry that much. But I wouldn't ruin this night, so I decided to just try to eat something."
