Among My Father's Many Women, She's the One I'm Most Grateful For

My dad is a scumbag. People in Sanlibao say that behind his back. He drinks heavily, gambles, abuses women, and spends his days idling with a group of buddies in the western suburbs. He looks decent enough, but if the wind lifts the strand of hair in front of his forehead, you can see a fierce scar stretching from his left temple to his forehead, like a worm winding its way there. Yet, this doesn't affect his ability to attract many women. They are like migratory birds, flying in to spend a summer or winter, and then leaving. Not a single one stays for long. Until that woman arrives.

When it's just Elijah and me at home, he drinks a lot. After getting drunk, he smashes those empty bottles, scattering glass shards everywhere, and then makes me pick them up. Initially, I often ended up with cuts on my hands, but with time, I learned to be careful. I would collect the broken glass in plastic bags and throw them into the garbage bin outside Ruby's house. On the way, I would check for plastic bottles and cardboard.Passing by Levi's house, I'd hear his mom scolding him in the yard again: "Look at Elijah, just a little ruffian, changing women every other day. Look at you, can't even afford to spend money on marriage..."They'd stop talking when they saw me passing by. But I couldn't blame Levi; he's a disabled guy in his twenties, not very bright, and he spends his days whistling at passing girls with yellow teeth peeking out. Sometimes he'd go so far as to touch them, attracting the avoidance of the local girls and young wives.Who would want to marry him?I'd take the things I collected to our secret base with Ruby. Every few days, we'd go sell them, and the money would be kept by Ruby. She said when it's enough, she'd take me to find her mom.Ruby, my older sister, is seventeen years old, and her house is on the slope next to mine.Two years ago, her mom and dad went to work in Shenzhen and ran away with someone from Hubei. Since then, her dad never came back.I shouted for Ruby at the door, and it took her a while to lazily open it. Her hair was a mess, like a bird's nest, and she fumbled with her clothes as she walked, with Carter trailing behind."Ruby, can you come out for a moment?"Suppressing my sadness, I tilted my head upward.I'm going to die, and I need to bid farewell to Ruby seriously.I hate leaving without a word.Mom left without a word.Three years ago, Grandma fell, closed her eyes, and never spoke again. A day later, she was gone too.They all disappeared from my world decisively, without leaving a word.At first, I missed them a lot, but then I started to hate and gradually believed Elijah's words—I am the most detestable person in the world."What's wrong with you?"Ruby noticed my abnormality, shrugged off Carter's arm, and ran over.I cried, lifting my coat to show her my pants dyed red."I think I might be dying. Elijah made me stand all night, and I didn't sleep until dawn. My stomach hurts so much, and there's a lot of blood, and I can't wipe it clean...""Hahaha..."Ruby laughed so hard that she couldn't straighten her waist. "You're dying because of this?"I was blurred by her laughter.She sent Carter away and pulled me into her room, giving me a sanitary napkin."You're a woman now!"She kept laughing at my bewildered look, wearing a confident expression."A woman?"I didn't want to be a woman, remembering the women Elijah brought home.I went back home, changed out of the dirty pants, and put them in a basin, planning to boil some hot water to soak them.Elijah walked in, drunk, and slammed the door.He seemed to be in a good mood, smiling from time to time.I stared at his face. "Dad, can you, please, give me some money?"He didn't say a word, walked into the bedroom to the south, took off his coat, and threw it to me.I called again, "Dad, give me some money. I want to buy...""Buy, buy, buy, you're a money-losing thing. I'll sell you sooner or later..."Elijah's face changed instantly. He picked up the pillow from the bed and threw it at me. I hastily caught it and flashed out of the room.Then I saw her.She blocked the sunlight at the doorway, a white long-sleeved shirt tucked into black pants, and long waves of hair hanging in front of her chest, clean and refreshing.Completely different from the heavily made-up and flashy short-skirted appearance I saw that night.It took me a bit of effort to recognize her, but she seemed to not remember me.She smiled slightly at me, and a few fish tail wrinkles gently lifted at the corners of her eyes."Excuse me, is this Elijah's house?"I nodded and pointed to the bedroom behind me.Turns out, she's here to find Elijah too.She leaned against the door and listened to the soon-rising snoring from the room.I boiled the water and was about to pour it into the basin when she suddenly stopped me."This should be washed with cold water."Then she looked me up and down, "Oh, so you're a girl!"She took off the hair tie on her wrist, naturally tied up her hair behind her head, and said, "I'm Taylor."She rolled up her sleeves, bent down, and poured cold water into the basin to wash the blood-stained pants and Elijah's coat. Then she hung them on the clothesline outside, turned to instruct me to make a cup of brown sugar water, and watched me drink it before saying:"Be careful not to catch a cold these days..."I smiled bitterly in my heart, and for a moment, I seemed to see a halo above her head.In fact, every woman who initially comes to find Elijah more or less has a halo, that seemingly motherly halo.Perhaps they think that being good to Elijah's daughter will make him happier? But their calculations are all wrong.Although Elijah is my dad, he hates me.He believes that his excellent genes should be passed down by a son, and I happen to be a girl.He raised me like a boy, always dressed in gray-blue clothes, with short hair. He didn't allow me to cry or act spoiled.But he couldn't hide the fact that I would eventually grow into a woman. It's a joke.Taylor rolled up her sleeves and started cleaning up the messy room that Elijah made."Why do you need money?"Maybe my indifference made Taylor uncomfortable; her voice was also cold."To buy... sanitary pads."She paused for a moment, took out a dark red wallet, pulled out a five-yuan bill, thought for a moment, and pulled out another one, handing it to me. "Do you know you need to buy two types, for day and night?"I shook my head."Well, forget it. Let's go together!"So, we went to the nearby store and bought two packs of sanitary pads, and she also taught me how to use them."Is it your first time?""Yeah."She looked up at me, with a hint of pity in her eyes, said nothing, turned around, and started cooking.When Elijah woke up, Taylor had already prepared two dishes and a soup, and she invited me to sit at the table.Steamed mandarin fish, stir-fried oil wheat vegetables, seaweed egg drop soup.Elijah came out with a messy hairstyle, saw the overly clean house, and the decent dishes on the table, his surprise was no less than mine.He turned around, put on a shirt to cover the stained big vest from last night, then scratched his head and grinned at her:"Taylor, how did you find your way here?"He kicked a plastic stool, and I quickly picked up the bowl and went back to the room.Later, Taylor came over and handed me half a bowl of dishes.I guessed that Elijah liked Taylor at that time.Taylor was beautiful, gentle, good at cleaning and cooking—what man wouldn't like her? Even though she was not very young, she was completely suitable for Elijah.But I didn't know why Taylor would like a man like Elijah. This question bothered me for too long. I don't understand why so many women threw themselves into Elijah's arms like moths to a flame and then left crying.They didn't know the terrible side of Elijah.After Grandma died, despite his indifference to me, I had no choice but to move in with him.At that time, I had no friends, and the one accompanying me was a dog named Huang that Grandma raised. I always brought it in and out.One day after school, Huang didn't wait for me at the village entrance, so I hurried home. From a distance, I heard its wailing.Elijah tied Huang's neck tightly with an iron wire, "Water, water," he said excitedly, eyes shining.Someone poured scalding hot water on Huang's head. The continuous and heartbreaking wailing, and a messy pit dug in front of its body on the ground.I rushed over and broke his arm, "Let it go! How can you do this!"His arm was like a steel bar, and I couldn't move it at all. In a hurry, I bit down hard.A sharp pain, he kicked me in the stomach.Huang gradually went silent, and he took off the blood-stained iron wire, walked towards me, "Don't think I won't strangle you."His eyes were bloodshot, and he swung the iron wire at me.Someone next to him stopped him, "Elijah, the dog's meat is almost ready to eat. Why bother with a child?"Since then, every time I see Elijah, I think of him holding the blood-stained iron wire, walking towards me with red eyes. I think he really might kill me.In Sānlǐbǎo, there was a railway that extended to a distant place."Once a day, precisely at 9:30 in the morning, the green train passes by, stops for two minutes, and then continues its journey."Sitting under the green mailbox in front of the old post office, staring at the departing green train, Ruby told me that she was leaving on that train."Aren't you waiting for me?" I asked."Come find me when you grow up. I'll write you letters," she said, patting the mailbox behind her.It was the year 1998, and we didn't have a telephone at home; communication relied on letters.Ruby handed me a stack of bills, saying she had sold everything in our secret base, and this was my rightful share. She told me to continue saving money; perhaps one day, I would need to buy a train ticket to find her.Then she left, facing the setting sun, alternating her feet on the same railway track, stretching her arms, swaying like a bird about to take flight.In fact, I had ridden this green train once, but at that time, I was too young to understand.Ruby's grandmother once said that when I was born, Elijah saw that I was a girl. He took advantage of my mom being asleep, carried me, and placed me on the train.He should have calmly gotten off at the next station, but as soon as he put me down, I began to cry loudly.Perhaps he was too nervous; at the moment the train doors closed, he squeezed out. When other passengers saw the big bundle he had thrown away, they, along with the conductor, chased after him. Elijah fell into a pit beside the railway, gaining a hideous scar on his face.I wasn't successfully handed over; my mom, angered, left home, and Elijah was criticized by everyone, which made him hate me even more.When I returned home, Taylor was washing Elijah's clothes. I immediately noticed the swollen half of her face.Seemingly afraid that I saw, she wiped her eyes with her hand and then said, "Dinner is in the pot!"I squatted in front of her, peeled a large White Rabbit candy and stuffed it into her mouth, then stood up and left.On the calendar behind the door, there was a red little star more than half a year ago. I knew, based on past experiences, that it was time for Taylor to leave. I was strangely attached to her.Taylor was not particularly close to me either; she was cold. At most, when Elijah didn't like the look of me, she would bring food to my room. Remind me to bring an umbrella on cloudy days and wear extra clothes when it's cold. Occasionally, she would urge me to do my homework well.On that day, Elijah slept until the sun was shining on his buttocks the next day.I checked the time; Taylor's train should have arrived in the county town dozens of kilometers away.Elijah walked back and forth in the house with a dark face, kicked over three plastic chairs, and cursed a lot of dirty words.I knew that for at least the next week, I had to avoid him as much as possible.Taylor originally didn't plan to leave.It was I who told her about the final fate of Elijah's women, "No one is unique, and no one can save him!"No matter how much humiliation they endured, in the end, they could only leave with scars.I gave Taylor the stack of bills and told her to buy a train ticket to leave; otherwise, in a few days, Elijah would not only snatch her money but also slap her.Taylor took out a pink floral dress from her bag and gave it to me. With a light shake, the pleats at the hem rolled up like waves.I didn't say anything, but in my heart, I thought that when I grew up, I would wear this dress, sit on the train, and leave this place, going far, far away.Taylor said she once had a daughter the same age as me, but she couldn't protect her.She said those words very close to me, and I saw something different in her eyes."How did you come to know someone like Elijah?" I asked."I used to dance at the Blue Sky Dance Hall, and a drunkard bullied me. He, looking very manly, drove that person away. He looked handsome."I remembered Taylor wearing a leather skirt that day; it was just that I was the one picking up bottles and got bullied.The drunken man kicked me hard when he found that I had accidentally spilled the remaining wine in the bottle on his leather shoes. She helped me up and led the man away.Both Taylor and I were the same. She fell in love with him because of Elijah's help, and I wanted to get closer to her because of Taylor's past assistance.I asked, "Do you still plan to work at the dance hall?""No, I want to go back to being a hairdresser, save some money. If only he could overcome his gambling problem," she said."Do you think he will change?""I hope he will." She didn't look at me and began to tidy up her few clothes.Two months after Taylor left, the Chinese New Year arrived.Before the New Year, I received a letter from Ruby. She mentioned that she was working as a model in Shenzhen and doing well, though very busy every day. She urged me to come and join her, emphasizing that earning money there was much easier than staying at home. The envelope included a photo of her with heavy makeup, wearing a short top that exposed her belly button, and a skirt that just covered her buttocks, giving her a mature appearance.Holding Ruby's letter, I walked towards home and collided with Levi at the corner of the wall. He reached out and grabbed my sleeve; I jumped back in surprise.He chuckled, and saliva dripped down from the corner of his mouth. "You, you've grown up," he said, pointing at my chest. I was frightened and hurriedly covered myself before running away.Levi's mother came out of my house with a smiling face, followed by Elijah.Seeing me, Levi's mother smiled briefly, then looked at Elijah and walked away along the wall.Elijah's face darkened. "Where did she go again?"Without waiting for my answer, he turned and walked briskly in the opposite direction of Levi's mother.I wondered why Levi's mother would come to my house. In the entire Sānlǐbǎo, no one looked down on Elijah more than she did.Neighbors said that Levi once had two older sisters, but the second sister was sent away on the train as soon as she was born, falsely claiming a stillborn baby. Obviously, Levi's dad was quite capable, and he succeeded. Later, they had Levi.As Levi grew older, his problems became apparent. Physically sound but mentally dull, he was clearly a simpleton.One day, Elijah took a group of children to play in the mountains, and Levi was among them. They incited Levi to climb the tallest tree to get the baby magpies from the nest. Halfway up, a snake emerged from the leaves of a nearby branch, scaring Levi so much that he fell from the tree onto the stones below. Due to the complicated injuries, he ended up becoming a cripple.This accident made Levi's mother resent Elijah. She openly and covertly cursed him as a dirty hooligan.I looked at Elijah's back and couldn't understand what could make Levi's mother and Elijah reconcile.The December sky was cold, and the whistling cold wind shook the somewhat fragile windows, making them shiver. I tightened my neck and went inside.After packing my school bag, planning to throw it into the downstairs trash can early the next morning, I found some stationery and wrote a reply to Ruby. I told her that I would go to Shenzhen to find her after the New Year.That night, Elijah didn't come home. It snowed heavily at night, and the coal in the house had run out. I had to pile up two quilts to barely endure until morning.In my dreams, someone was banging on the door. Nathan from the village committee stood outside with a gloomy face."Your dad was taken to the police station last night for gambling. He might be detained for half a month. I came to tell you; you should be aware," he said, then turned and left. After some thought, he came back and handed me twenty yuan before waving and leaving.I suddenly felt relieved. With Elijah not at home, I could finally avoid looking at his face.But in just one day, I experienced the disadvantages of Elijah not being at home.Levi appeared around my house at any time. He seemed to suddenly develop an interest in something, or maybe with Elijah not around, he became unrestrained.The dirty dark blue cotton-padded jacket always loitered near my house, making me extremely nervous.On the day before the Chinese New Year, Taylor returned.Taylor and I celebrated the New Year together, and it's the happiest memory in my mind.She bought coal and installed a stove in the main room. Although it was simple, when the flames leaped out, I saw Taylor on the opposite side, her nostrils blackened from the smoke, and still felt happiness—a genuine warmth.I pointed at her blackened face and laughed. She also pointed at me, laughing like a child."I thought you wouldn't come back.""I came back to save you and your dad!"Speaking of my dad, I didn't want to talk anymore. Taylor was so good, but she still didn't understand that no one could save Elijah.We made dumplings together, cleaned the house, cooked, and even cut window flowers to stick on the glass.Since that day, although Levi still lingered around my house, he never came to harass me again.I yearned for such a home, and a dangerous thought crossed my mind: it would be great if there were no Elijah, if it was just Taylor and me.Time passed quickly, and before I knew it, it was the tenth day of the New Year. Elijah returned from the detention center.The moment Taylor saw him, she positioned him at the center of the house.She busied herself helping him wash his hair, bathe, change clothes, and even considerately helped him tidy his hair.I overheard Taylor cautiously asking him through the wooden door: "Can you stop gambling in the future? It's so miserable, losing money is a small matter, but the days in detention are tough."Elijah firmly promised: "As long as you are willing to be with me and live a good life, I won't gamble again."Then came his swearing phase, and I didn't continue listening.Someone entered the yard from outside; it was Levi's mother. Her hands were tucked into her sleeves, a smile on her face, and wrinkles squeezed into a pile."Elijah, you're back!"Elijah awkwardly smiled at Taylor, took off the apron around his neck, ruffled his half-tidy hair, and followed Levi's mother out of the door."What's going on with them?" Taylor looked at their backs in confusion."It's definitely not a good thing. I've never seen Levi's mother treat Elijah so well, and I've never seen Elijah willingly deal with Levi's mother."There must be something unusual happening.Early the next morning, I woke up to the sound of Taylor and Elijah arguing.In fits and starts, I heard Taylor raising her voice, and I vaguely caught a few words."So young... your biological daughter... idiot..."I stayed still and listened quietly. It seemed that Taylor was persuading Elijah, saying a lot, and finally, Elijah's loud shout ended the argument."My daughter, my rules." With the bang of the wooden door, the room suddenly fell silent.Elijah didn't return even at mealtime.Taylor served me a bowl of noodles, with an egg lying inside. "Eat more," she said, smiling bitterly at me."Is my dad going to sell me to Levi?"I picked the egg out and put it in her bowl. "I'm his biological daughter. Don't expect him to change his mind. Many foolish women have had the same idea, but they all failed. You'd better give up early."Taylor paused, her chopsticks hanging in the air, and after a moment, she put the egg back into my bowl."I plan to go to Shenzhen to find Ruby in a few days."I ate the salty noodles, bit my lip until it bled, and swallowed the blood with the noodles.Taylor, with her head down, didn't speak for a long time.After finishing my bowl of noodles, I looked up at her. She was still in a daze. "Everything will be fine, there will be a way," I said, leaving the table. I heard her faintly say behind me, as if to me, but also as if to herself.The next day, Taylor went to work in the county town. It took her two hours round trip, taking a bus at eight in the morning and coming back by train, reaching home after ten in the evening.She became thinner but more spirited.She always said to me, "It will be fine; there will be a way."I saw her hiding money in her shoes, then putting the shoes in a shoebox under the bed, mixed with other shoeboxes.She blinked at me, and I understood her meaning, but she was too naive."Do you think my dad is blind? If he knows you have money, he'll dig three feet underground.""Oh, no, he definitely won't find it.""In a few days, when I have time, I'll deposit it in the bank. You have to keep your word. You promised me to finish junior high school. I'll figure out other things."Taylor seemed confident, but I became more uncertain. I didn't know when Elijah might decide to sell me to Levi's mother.Occasionally, I would encounter Levi at the entrance of the village. He remained the same, but his gaze towards me became more frequent. One day, I approached him tentatively."Hehehe..." He immediately grinned, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "You've grown up," he said, reaching out to pull me closer."What did your mom tell you?" I stepped back, and he followed."Don't let you know."He continued to grin foolishly, and saliva flowed down the corner of his mouth, creating a shiny streak on his shirt."Who told me not to know?""Your dad!""Then I know too. Did your mom give your dad thirty thousand?""No, you're wrong."He laughed, his eyes squinting, and his yellow teeth awkwardly occupying half of his face. I felt more and more disgusted and turned to run away."I'm definitely right. You're a fool; you don't know anything.""I know. I'm not a fool. It's fifty thousand, fifty thousand. My mom gave your dad fifty thousand to sell you to me as a wife..."To prove he wasn't a fool, his voice grew louder, and he chased me, kicking and stomping behind me.I knew it; Elijah had wanted to get rid of me a long time ago. After all these years, he must have seen me as a source of money, which is why he didn't casually throw me out.Filled with hatred, I ran to the gate but collided with Elijah. He was coming out, and my collision made him step back two paces, leaning against the large iron gate."You troublesome girl, so flustered. No trace of a girl's demeanor. I'll beat you to death."He picked up a stick behind the door and swung it towards me."Sure, beat me to death. If you do, your fifty thousand will be in vain. Let's see what you can do."I rushed towards him, "I won't marry the fool. Let's see what you can do."Elijah's stick lingered in the air for a moment before landing on my leg.A sharp pain shot through my right leg. Unsteady, I fell to the ground, watching as he accurately struck for the second time."I'll cripple you! Can't control you, you damn girl." He was furious, his face contorted.For many years, whenever he was unhappy, he would resort to violence against me. I had long gotten used to being beaten, but this was the first time I resisted so boldly.Rather than marrying that fool, it would be better to be beaten to death by Elijah.However, I felt a bit unwilling."Elijah, Elijah, stop..." Levi's mom and Levi's dad held back Elijah."She's already part of our family; go easy on her," Levi's dad's casual words surprisingly had more effect than many tears shed by me.Elijah, infuriated, threw the stick on the ground and left, muttering to himself. I disgustingly shook off Levi's mom's hand trying to help me up.In the evening, while Taylor was using cold water to apply ice to the bruises on my legs, she sighed, "Why do you bother with him? Just avoid him, and we'll figure out a way, figure out a way to repay that money!""Fifty thousand, so much money, he must have lost it all. What can we use to repay it?""As long as he stops gambling in the future, we can slowly save money, slowly figure out a solution!""How can he stop gambling? He's like a bottomless pit. Only foolish women like you would believe his nonsense."I angrily threw the stack of money in front of Taylor, "I took it from his pocket before he hit me."Seeing Elijah's bulging pockets, I thought that he must have discovered the location where Taylor hid the money.Taylor bit her lip for a while before collecting the money and keeping it quiet.I turned my head to observe, and tears had already dripped onto her arms.In the silent night, the poplar trees outside swayed their lush branches, like demons slowly approaching.The light in the neighboring room was turned off very late; Taylor must have been thinking a lot.She had a way out, but I didn't. In a month, I would graduate. My grades were mediocre, no chance for a prestigious high school, but an ordinary one was still an option with some effort.However, I felt like I had no chance to go to high school.The next day, Taylor didn't leave. She still went to work at the same time, and returned home very late.Everything seemed unchanged, yet there was a subtle change somewhere.Levi's mom didn't come again, but the eyes of their family never left me. I had a growing sense of fear.On a rainy day in early June, I didn't see Levi at the small bridge near the village when I returned home from school.I felt fortunate, thinking that this was the day they gave me a loophole. I was still torn between taking the exam or running away first."Sadie, well, who made her a girl too? No way!""Jumped into the river? Was she rescued?"A group of people gathered at the bridgehead, discussing in a babble.Sadie was Levi's older sister, married in a neighboring village.I heard that the man she married was over ten years older than her, and he spent a large sum to marry her, accumulating a lot of debt. She went there and only gave birth to two daughters, and she was despised by her in-laws, leading a miserable life.I stood still in place.The turbulent river had already returned to calm; no one knew that just a moment ago, a young woman had struggled against death here.I didn't know if Levi's sister was lucky. She was rescued, but she would probably be sent back to her in-laws not long after.But misfortune quickly found its way to me.The day after the junior high school entrance exam, Taylor left. She took a few pieces of her clothes and disappeared silently in the early morning, without any quarrel or noise.Elijah was in a bad mood, smashing things in the yard. I pretended to be invisible, shrinking into the corner of the bed, tightly holding the train ticket Taylor gave me.Ruby's latest letter arrived three days ago. She mentioned being too busy with work and briefly wrote to me. She suggested that I could take my time before going to Shenzhen since she wasn't feeling well and couldn't take care of me.The night before Taylor left, she told me a story. It was about a girl born into an unhappy family. Later, her parents divorced. Despite her mother's efforts to gain custody, the girl's grandmother strongly opposed it. Although they didn't like the girl, they wouldn't allow her to be taken away. The mother couldn't secure custody and could only secretly visit her daughter's school from time to time.After a while, when the mother was busy and went to the school to find her daughter after a two-month gap, the teacher said she hadn't been there for a long time and dropped out. The mother was anxious and went directly to the girl's grandmother's house, only to see funeral attendees at the village entrance, a solitary coffin containing the body of the girl who hadn't grown into an adult.The girl had been beaten by her father and stepmother. Unable to bear it, she jumped into the river and drowned. Luckily, someone nearby saw it and found the body.Taylor cried while telling the story. She said that the girl was her daughter, and if she were still alive, she would be about the same age as me. She mentioned that she had already found a house in the county, and if I wanted, I could go to her. She would take care of me as I grew up.That night, I didn't sleep at all, counting the time. I heard Taylor leave before dawn.She was just one of my father's many mistresses, coming with the desire to be loved and cared for, and leaving with a belly full of grievances. We were not related by blood, and I wasn't sure if she would really be willing to take me away.When the day broke, Levi's mom came. She and Elijah stood at the front gate, whispering for a while. Elijah glanced into the room, scratched his head, and nodded. Then, my room door was opened, and Elijah threw a bundle at me, saying, "Today, let's go to Levi's house!"I knew the moment to escape had come, but I didn't expect it to be so soon. I felt both tearful and surprised. He even prepared a bundle as my dowry."It was prepared by Taylor. She said you should at least graduate before getting married. You're sixteen; in ancient times, children your age were already married," he seemed to be trying to persuade me.My heart wavered slightly, "Dad, do you really want me to marry that fool?""What's wrong with a fool? His family is considered the wealthiest in our Sanlibao!" He became excited, his face turning red. "Don't be ungrateful! Hurry up and change your clothes."I was terrified, with my heart pounding. I only had time to keep that train ticket close to me.The loud drumbeat exploded at the door, and a group of people rushed in, helping me change into a bright red wedding gown. They pushed me out the door, walking along the dirt road to the west.Behind me, a group of children made noise and commotion. I felt like a puppet, being pushed along in the crowd.I regretted not escaping earlier. Now, my chance might only come once. If I couldn't escape, what should I do?Levi's new clothes were crisp and neat, but the cuffs were stained with snot. He grinned and approached, his dark face shining with oil, and the snot flowed to the edge of his lips. He kept calling "wife" as he gradually got closer.My nerves were stretched to the limit, and my mind was filled with thoughts of how to escape. My heart was pounding relentlessly, and Levi's yellow teeth were almost touching my face. I smelled an unpleasant odor.The clock on the wall showed 9:25, and time passed with every beat of my heart. I could run to the train station in three minutes and catch a train, but surely someone would stop me. So, should I use Levi to my advantage?I was at a loss, and my mind buzzed. I pushed Levi's face aside, and he suddenly grabbed my hand and forcefully pressed it against his lips. I felt nauseous, and the well-prepared words in my mind were overturned.I pushed Levi away with force. He staggered backward, hitting the door. He was about to cry, but I pushed him away and rushed out of the door. There were many people in the corridor, and red wedding decorations were everywhere.I sprinted, but my arm was firmly gripped by a pair of hands. Elijah stared at me with bloodshot eyes, and the scar on his forehead looked ferocious."I warn you, don't embarrass me. What I say is like water thrown out," he said, his eyes burning red. "Let me go, let me go!" I kicked and struggled.The sound of wheels rolling on the tracks came from afar, approaching gradually. I didn't have time to cry. The clock's hands kept turning in my mind. Probably five more minutes. I desperately moved my arms. "Please, please, let me go! Let me go!"A crisp sound echoed, and my head buzzed. The long whistle of the train gradually faded in my mind. Everything disappeared quickly. Two minutes—how short could they be? I only had time to take a deep breath and shed a few tears.I remembered what Taylor had said: With me, everything would be okay. I couldn't feel the pain on my cheeks. I thought I was smiling. After all, I was destined to be hated by the whole world!I was dragged into the house, and the door was closed. It was noisy all around, but it seemed like I couldn't hear anything.I had used up my last strength and didn't want to move. At that moment, I remembered Levi's sister—the woman who jumped into the river without hesitation. I recalled the girl Taylor mentioned. Perhaps we were all the same.In a daze, someone shouted loudly, someone cried, someone opened the door, and two people in uniforms reached out to me, saying it was all over, and I shouldn't be afraid.I hesitated to reach out my hand, "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid." Taylor held me tightly in her arms. The warmth of her body transmitted through our clothes, gradually dispelling my trembling.I followed her as we walked out the door.Outside the door, the sunlight was dazzling, and the poor-quality red carpet became worn and tattered amid tearing and trampling. The bright red wedding characters were scattered by the wind. I could hear Levi's mother wailing, Levi's father cursing, mixed with Levi's giggles and Elijah's swearing."If you have the guts, never come back!"I followed Taylor to the county town. She mentioned that she didn't expect me to get married so quickly and hastily. Fortunately, on the way, she met someone from the village who told her about Levi's family holding a wedding, so she went to report it.Later, Taylor got a job at a barber shop, working early and returning late. I had nothing to do at home, so I could only study and read books as she requested.On the day the report cards were issued, I went to the school. Surprisingly, I managed to get into an ordinary high school in the county with borderline grades.Taylor was even happier than I was. She had a bit of alcohol and told me to study hard, strive to get into college, and go wherever I wanted in the future.On the day of high school enrollment, I passed by a hospital and saw a figure flash by, resembling Ruby. I ran over to catch up with her, wading through layers of people, and saw her entering the gynecology department.I waited for her at the door for a long time, and she finally came out, looking weary and exhausted. I called her a couple of times before she reacted."I'm pregnant, and Carter disappeared. He took all my money."Her gaze seemed to be fixed on a distant place for a long time. Finally, she lowered her head and muttered to herself, "Luckily, you didn't go."I didn't dare to ask her whether she still intended to go. I just heard her saying that she hadn't decided whether to keep the child.Facing the noonday sun, she walked towards the direction of Three Li Fortress.I wanted to stop her, to tell her that everything would be okay. I opened my mouth, but I couldn't say a word.Epilogue:In the fall of 2002, I got into a second-tier university in the northern part of the country, majoring in electrical engineering. On the day of enrollment, Taylor accompanied me.She rented a storefront near my school, decorated it simply, and opened a barber shop.After that, we settled in the coastal small town.In 2008, I once met a fellow villager who told me about Elijah's situation. He mentioned that Elijah had a few more relationships afterward, but none lasted. He was now alone, still drinking heavily. After one drunken episode, he fell into a water ditch near a rice field, injured his leg, and now had to rely on a crutch to walk.However, he never mentioned me again.