Timeless |Tanjiro x Muichiro|

glimpse of the past

Muichiro finally managed to gather the strength to get up from the rather uncomfortable chair in the waiting room after the raven-haired doctor had quickly left only a few seconds prior.

He made his way to Tanjiro's room and then braced himself in the doorway for what he might see. After taking a deep breath, the blue-eyed male finally walked inside. Tanjiro was hooked up to a few different machines, there was an iv in his arm and an oxygen tube that was resting under his nose. 

The red-haired male's eyes were closed, and Muichiro could see his chest steadily rising and falling at a slow but steady pace. It seemed that Tanjiro might be sleeping for a while, so Muichiro pulled up a chair and sat next to him. 

Nothing had sunken in yet. For all Muichiro's heart knew, the love of his life was lying on that bed, recovering peacefully. Yet, deep in his mind, he knew that this might be one of the last few days he would spend with Tanjiro before this mysterious disease progressed and ripped him away.

He gently took Tanjiro's hand in his own, it was warm, it felt like life. How was it possible that Tanjiro, the most lively person he knew, could very well pass away within the week. How could his warm hand turn cold and wither away. It just didn't make sense. It wasn't fair. How could this happen.

Muichiro felt his vision blur, as tears clouded his eyes. The adrenaline from before had stopped his brain from fully processing everything that happened after they left their apartment until now.

Death had always been close to Muichiro. His brother had died in a car accident when he was little. Yuichiro was always Muichiro's best friend, and for a long time after he died, Muichiro thought that his twin brother was playing hide and seek. He walked unsteadily around their small flat, opening cabinets and drawers that he could barely reach, trying to see if Yuichiro  was maybe inside.

He didn't understand at that time why his parents would muffle their sobs at night. It only occurred to him a few weeks later, in his small three year old head, that maybe his brother was not coming back.

His parents became distant and depressed after Yuichiro died. Muichiro was often neglected, as his father worked long hours, throwing himself into work, trying to distract his busy mind with anything. His mother became severely depressed, stopped taking care of herself, and could barely take care of Muichiro either. 

The blue eyed boy grew up learning to be grateful for every meal he received, even when it was normally instant noodles or something of the sort that didn't take his mother much energy to prepare.

When he met Tanjiro, he'd been seldom cared for, for so long, that it was hard to remember what being pampered felt like. What it was like to have attention. The feeling of warmth that tingles on the inside of your body when you know someone cares about you, and is there to help.

It took a long time for Muichiro to open up to Tanjiro's naturally kind and caring personality. The red haired boy had always provided random gifts, and made delicious food for no other reason than that "Muichiro deserved the best every day no matter what." Tanjiro liked to say that often, reassuring his boyfriend that he didn't have to be afraid of affection.

And now, just when Muichiro had warmed up to Tanjiro's loving presence and affection, it was about to be ripped away from him. When he thought they had countless years ahead of them for more date nights and movies, cooking together, cuddling as they fell asleep. It was all vanishing before his eyes.

He squeezed Tanjiro's hand gently, trying to comfort himself, but to no avail. The thoughts that swirled around in his brain only made Muichiro feel more desolate. He hoped Tanjiro would wake up soon so they could have a few more conversations before the inevitable happened at least...