Beautiful Chaos (jake x johnnie)

one

"I can't believe you're going to college without me." Ian spoke from beside Johnnie.

Johnnie gripped the box that contained the last of his belongings for his dorm room. He glanced over at Ian who stared ahead at the college building that was bigger than any school they'd seen before in their lives. His eyes were big, twinkling with curiosity as he watched the swarms of ambitious students float through the campus, making their way towards their classes. As they stood together, a soft breeze rustled through the abundance of red, yellow, and amber colored trees planted around the area.

"You could've been here," Johnnie said quietly.

"I could've."

"So, why aren't you?"

"Because I chose to die."

A car door closed behind Johnnie. He looked over and saw his mom coming towards him. Her eyes were droopy from a long shift the day before at the bank. She stood beside him. "Are you ready to go inside?"

Johnnie flicked his eyes back at Ian. He was gone again, leaving nothing but whistling wind behind in his wake. He sighed and looked away. "Yeah, thanks for helping me move all my other stuff in the other day."

"You should be thanking the mover since it was mainly him lugging everything heavy inside."

Johnnie chuckled, although it was forced.

His body tensed when he felt his mom's hand on his shoulder. "How are you feeling?" She asked.
Johnnie still could not answer.

He decided to go with his usual response. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

That was new.

He nodded quickly to hide his doubt. "Yeah, I promise. If I need anything, I'll just call you."

"Okay," she pulled him into a tight hug, "you're going to do great Johnnie, I believe in you."

Ian had told him the same words once.

"I believe in you."

They were four simple words and yet they made him overcome a fear he was battling for so long. He stepped up onto that stage in their town's local bar, his heart racing in his chest and sweat pricking his skin. And even though he was terrified and was getting swallowed in everyone's gazes—he sang his heart out. All because Ian told him those four words.

Maybe if Ian was actually there by his side, he wouldn't feel like a zombie walking amongst people his age who seemed to have everything together. He already stood out because of his black eye shadow, piercings, and tattoos, but it suddenly felt like there was a giant sign above his head that read: "I have no idea what I'm doing."

He couldn't even remove the sign and throw it away because it was the truth. So he just kept his head down until he reached his dorm room. He grabbed the handle of the door and pushed it open. His bed was still tucked in the corner with his dark blue bedding. His Nirvana and Green Day posters were on the wall and his desk and dresser had a few of his belongings. Johnnie made his way over and set his box onto the desk.

He glanced over and saw another bed that he'd noticed earlier. The bed still had the plain white sheets the room came with, but there was a black duffel bag by the foot of it. On the desk was a laptop, speakers, and a pair of headphones. Johnnie wondered who his roommate was. He hadn't seen anyone there ever since he found out he was going to be living on campus for school. 

Found out as in he was basically forced because his mom thought it would be a good idea for him to get away from everything for a bit. He was always curious as to what ultimately made her make that decision. Was it the fact that he locked himself in his room for almost two weeks straight? Or that he cried himself to sleep for almost a month? It was probably the ladder.

Johnnie looked back down at the box. There were a few articles of clothing, some pictures, jewelry, a lamp and his songwriting books. His stomach turned as he stared at the books. No matter how much they made him violently nauseous—he couldn't bring himself to throw them away. Maybe because he could remember Ian skimming through the pages and reading his lyrics with a sparkle in his eye. Maybe because he could remember his compliments and how he said his songs would be popular one day.

"We're going to sing these songs together and they're going to reach so many people Johnnie," Ian smiled hopefully at him.

But those words were fruitless, an empty promise. He was gone and so was Johnnie's desire to reach anyone with his music.

Johnnie clenched his teeth and grabbed one of the notebooks. He whipped it angrily towards the wall as a boy with a shaggy black mullet wearing a tank top that showed off his canvas of tattoos, sauntered into the room.

The book struck right beside his head and he jumped.

Johnnie froze.

The boy looked down at the book and then back up at Johnnie with confusion sprawled across his face. "What the fuck, are you trying to cut my head off?"

"I'm so sorry," Johnnie went to quickly pick the book up off the floor.

"I think you should apologize to the book."

Johnnie clutched the book in his hands and peeked at the boy as he went to sit down on his bed. He studied his features closely. He was attractive, no doubt about it—but there was something else about him. The boy met his gaze and Johnnie didn't look away. His eyes were dark and alluring, they held the aura of someone who was important.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Johnnie asked carefully.

The boy broke eye contact and laid back onto the bed, tucking his arms behind his head. His tank top rode up slightly, revealing more tattoos on his abdomen. "No, I don't think you do."

The realization hit Johnnie then. "There was a magazine cover and I think you were on it—"

"What's your name?"

Johnnie paused.

The boy tilted his head towards him. "We're roommates right? I think I should know."

"Right," Johnnie cleared his throat, "I'm Johnnie, Johnnie Guilbert. What about you?"

The boy licked his lips. "Jake Webber."

Jake Webber. The first person Johnnie had properly interacted with in almost three months. And he was more mysterious than he would've imagined.

"Am I allowed to nap or do I have to worry about you staring at me while I sleep?" Jake raised a brow at him.

Johnnie snapped out of his daze and shook his head. "No, sorry...you can rest."

Jake turned to face the wall as Johnnie went to go sit down. He placed the notebook back into the box and then quietly lifted out a picture frame from the clutter. The picture was of Johnnie taking a selfie of himself goofing around with a guitar. Ian sat beside him, smiling at the camera as he flipped through a music magazine.

Johnnie's heart stopped. The person on the magazine cover had the same black mullet, striking eyes, and tattoos scattered across his body.

Johnnie turned slowly to look at Jake who was curled up in his bed.

"Hey," Jake spoke up suddenly and Johnnie froze again, "you can stare daggers into me all day, but I'm not who you think I am."

Johnnie opened his mouth to speak but forced his words back down.

"I'm just a stranger," Jake said before completely going silent.