The Perfect Gift

C H A P T E R 🎄1

R O S E A N N E

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered under my breath, trying to keep a straight face. I hid a smile behind my hand. Thankfully, Max Schlitz, the up-and-coming movie director sitting across from me, didn't notice.

My eyes were glued to the atrocity playing out on the large television monitor. A male narrator's voice came from the speakers:

"Molly Eggers is a hard-working woman trying to move up the corporate ladder. She just landed her dream job working at the North Pole for Santa Claus himself. There's only one problem..."

The young woman on screen took off her hat, and a pair of bunny ears flopped out.

"Molly Eggers is the daughter of ... the Easter Bunny!" the narrator said.

A quick montage ensued to show that the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus did not get along. The montage hinted that a workplace romance soon developed between Molly and Santa Claus.

"Oh, my goodness," Molly said, holding her face in her hands. "I'm in love with my father's arch-enemy!"

"Can true love survive the ultimate holiday showdown? Don't miss Hopping for Holiday Romance coming soon to theaters near you!" Max grinned at me. I tried not to pass out.

That was a ho-ho-horrible one-liner. Am I really supposed to market this freaking disaster?

Max turned off the presentation and fixed me with a gaze eager for praise.

"So? What do you think, Roseanne?" he asked.

"Mr. Schlitz—"

"Max."

"Okay, Max." I cleared my throat. "It's ... different from your typical holiday fare."

"That's the point. I'm trying to make an ironic statement about how commercialism has destroyed the meaning of Christmas. And the meaning of romance," he added as an afterthought.

Ironic?

I struggled not to burst into laughter.

The only thing ironic here is that you really expect me to turn this steaming pile of cinematic crap into a box office smash.

"I see." I sighed. "Max, I'm not sure that today's audience is quite ... ready for this masterpiece."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, the box office isn't the sure bet it used to be. You're competing with superhero franchises and tearjerker Oscar bait. If you want to sell this as a serious holiday romance, the couple needs to be believable."

"But it is a serious romance!" Max protested.

I gave him a long, hard look. "The only way we can market this is as a comedy. And only on streaming at that."

"But it's not really a comedy," he whined.

My phone went off, and I checked the message. "Look, Max, you hired our marketing firm because of our reputation. Trust me on this. How long would it take you to recut the film to make it a pure comedy?"

Max sighed. "I guess we could do it in two weeks."

"All right. Hit me up in two weeks, and I'll have an action plan ready for you to court the streaming giants. Don't worry, Max. This movie will turn a profit if you follow my advice."

"You are the best in the business," he said. "I trust you."

"We'll discuss this soon, but now I really do have to go. Good talk, Max."