Til Death Did Them Apart

when they spoke

You were actively avoiding this conversation. 

Askeladd knew you were, noticing how you avoided staying up at night with him, blaming the baby. Sure, you were tired but you'd never sleep when you said you would be; after all, you would be up the second your son began to even whimper. 

He had finally gotten you to cave, after many nights of trying to even simply sit in silence with you, before going to bed. 

"I know you don't want to talk about it..."

"No," you shook your head, grumpy. "I don't." 

He smiled, amused by your attitude. You were acting childish, with your crossed arms, and your grumpy pout. If you weren't the mother of his child, he might not have found this endearing. 

But you were. 

"I'm going to leave soon," Askeladd admitted. "I've been here longer than I should've, already..." 

You knew that. 

"And you have to stay here." 

You knew that too. 

You just didn't want to come to terms with it. 

"You can't bring a baby on looting missions and bars. It's already difficult to bring a woman." 

You huffed. "So... you're just gonna leave? Without looking back?" 

Askeladd rolled his eyes, but he leaned forward in his chair, taking your hand. "We have stuck by each other's side for years. What makes you think that I'd just throw years of my life away by leaving you?"

You frowned. "I don't know," you murmured. 

He squeezed your hand. 

Your frown deepened. 

"I'm different now."

"How so?" He asked, tilting his head. 

"I'm... a mother." 

Askeladd paused, waiting for more. There wasn't any more. "You say that like it's a bad thing." 

"I look different. I feel different. It's like I'm a whole different person." 

"You're not." Askeladd's grip on your hand tightened. It stayed tight. "You're my life. We've been together since we were kids. And you will continue to be my life, continue to be with me, with our own kids. You're the same person I met all those years ago. You're the same person my mother met. You're now the mother of my child. I'm not forgetting you unless someone slices my head off."

You gripped his forearm. 

"Don't say things like that. Especially when you're going to leave me for so long." 

"I'll see you next winter." 

"That's an entire year." You glared up at him. "I'm allowed to be upset." 

Askeladd nodded, a small smile on his face. "You are, cariad." 

Your eyes widened. Cariad. "When did you learn that word?" 

"I always knew it," he huffed. "It just felt appropriate, right now. In private, with no one around. Our word." 

You smiled. "Our word."