CODY'S POV:
I think I'm starting to gain a crush for Noah. I hate having to admit it, it makes me feel so...strange? And gross...since everybody I've ever been around bad-mouthed people who liked the same gender. But I don't know if he likes me back. He talks to this girl alot, I think her name is Emma. She's pretty popular, and I've heard a bit about Noah, and I'm just some guy. So how would Noah ever like me? Somebody like him, liking somebody like me? That's practically unbelievable.
Valentine's Day was coming up soon, in like, a week! And I'll probably have nobody again, unless Noah asks me, but that's like a dream. It would never happen, yet I keep hoping for it. It's not like he matters, or like valentine's Day matters or anything. I led down in my bed, scrolling on my phone. I always end up in the same place, rotting away in my bed.
My room was like a box, pretty small, even though my house is very large. I think my parents just like it when they can't notice me or I can't bother them. The walls of my room are painted gray, the walls are also damp and covered in posters of my favourite bands. There's also a closet that holds not many clothes, and my single bed. That's pretty much it, my rooms pretty gloomy and depressing, the ceiling fan makes small noises of breeze. I wish my room was nicer, more organized, I wish that I had the motivation to get up and clean up the piles of clothes on my ground, pick up the torn bandages on the bedside table.
There's also a mirror, but I flipped it around. After people started making fun of me, calling me scrawny and ugly, I stopped looking at myself. I don't really know what I look like anymore, even though I see my reflection in other people's eyes, even though I look down at my arms every night, even if I see myself in car windows, it's all a blur. I don't like any aspect of myself.
I flipped around on my bed, turning to face the wall. There's also a window, but I mostly use it for sneaking out, not 'looking at the stars' like some dumb teenage girl in the middle of the night. Sometimes I wish I could look better, like Justin or Alejandro. Maybe then people would like me more, or Gwen would go out with me.
I decided I wanted to take a look in the mirror. I wanted to see my face, even though it would look deranged. I got up, leaving my covers on the other side of the bed, tripping over a few piles of clothes and getting to the mirror. I sighed, put placed my hands on it and flipped it over gently. I looked at myself for a while, I didn't know how to feel. They were right, I did look scrawny and tired, like I hadn't slept in ages. My eyes looked horrid, like a swamp. My hair looked so greasy, I was so skinny and the gap in my tooth looked so stupid. Why did I think I'd look better? Why did I have the 'confidence' to look at myself once again? Just so that I could feel worse?
I flipped my mirror back around quickly, and walked over to my bed to sit down. I stared at the doors to my closet, rethinking my choices. Suddenly, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I grabbed it, my eyes were blurry from subtle tears, I wiped them to see that Noah had messaged me.
NOAH: Hey, you weren't at school today? What happened?
I thought for a second, and then I remembered that I had school today. Shit, how did I forget school? I looked around my room for a minute, but then back at my phone.
ME: Sorry I just forgot :)
NOAH: How do you forget school?
ME: I'm not sure..
NOAH: Well, don't forget tomorrow. We get our test results back.
ME: Oh okay! I'll see you tmrw then? :3
NOAH: Yeah, okay. Bye.
ME: Bye!!
I groaned and fell back onto my bed, slapping my face with my hand. Why did life have to be so hard sometimes? I curled up in my bed and stared at the wall in silence. My phone vibrated in my pocket again, I yawned and yanked it, looking at it with weary eyes.
NOAH: <3
I swear to god, I wanted to squeal and kick my legs. I wasn't having the bestest day today, but this made it so much better. I smiled and sat up, my grin must've reached my ears. I was so happy, I felt like I was about to explode. I heard a knock on my window once again. I opened my curtains to see Izzy and Eva, I opened my window with the smile still plastered across my face.
"Why so smiley?" Eva asked, her hands on her hips, she was stood on the pavement outside of my house. I grabbed a rope and slowly lowered myself down to the ground.
"Nothing, why are you guys here?" I asked, still in my PJs. They smiled and looked back at me.
"We're going to get Noah, we're sneaking out basically. So, wanna come?" I immediately nodded to Izzy's statement.
"Yeah, of course I'll come!" I said, following them as they began walking.I watched as Izzy and Eva threw tiny rocks at Noah's window, he opened it and looked down at us.
"What do you guys want?" He groaned, rubbing his eyes. Izzy and Eva smirked.
"We're sneaking out! Come on Noah!" Izzy answered, Noah shut his window and walked to the door, quietly letting himself out.
"I didn't ask for you guys to come get me, but okay." He stated, looking at Izzy and Eva with a frown. A few seconds later, he noticed me standing in the distance, I smiled and waved and he did the same back."Wait, where do you guys even want to go?" I asked, walking over to them. I didn't really like Noah seeing me like this, a white t-shirt and sweatpants, eyebags, scruffy hair and bandages wrapped around my arms.
"Oh, I actually haven't thought that out..." Izzy answered, looking at the ground.
"Seriously?" Eva said, with an unimpressed look plastered across her face.
"Yeah, what Iron woman said, 'seriously?'" Noah added on, putting his hands on his waist.Suddenly, Noah's phone buzzed. He grabbed it and looked at it with, a grin slowly forming on his face.
"What is it?" Eva asked, crossing her arms.
"Party at Geoff's, how about we go?" Noah asked, sliding his phone back into his pocket, perfect timing! Although, I kind of hoped nobody said anything to me.
"Yeah, we can do that! Is that okay with you Cody?" Izzy said in a hyperactive voice, clapping her hands and turning around to look at me."Yeah, that fine with me." I smiled, the others turned to walk to Geoff's, I'm so happy I finally have friends. They're so nice and cool to, and they include me in things.
I wonder what's going to happen at the party? Are there going to be any 'drinks'? Is it gonna be fun? Will people not mind me being there? I prayed I wouldn't get made fun of or anything, but If I stayed with Noah, Izzy and Eva, I would probably be okay.
YOU ARE READING
// Until The End. // NOCO
Fanfictionangst. that's all's you need to know. [WARNINGS: TOUGH TOPICS, MENTIONS OF SH AND SU1CIDE, ALCOHOL AND MORE, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.]