My Dear Superstar

11-Fresh Start

OHM

I lost all hopes and decided to end this worst and useless life of mine here.I looked at downwards and stroked on my belly hoping my baby will forgive his Papa for being dumb and taking his life before he can explore the world. Because I have no choice at that time, just standing there made me a bit scared, but thinking about the clueless life and never-ending problems, I thought to end this life. I was about to jump, but someone grabbed me by my waist and pulled back. Then I got a tight slap from someone.Even I realised what happened around me, another slap also landed on my cheek.

I put my hands on the cheeks and felt the pain but not more than the pain I was feeling in my heart. Tears were flowing through my eyes. I was standing there like a toy not moving or saying anything ready to receive any punishment from those two people.

"Are you crazy Ohm..did you even thought about us before planning to do this. Or did you even think about the baby that you have? " Perth yelled at me in frustration.

"No, he will not because who are we to him to think about us. Did he even care and love us as we love and care about him. You are selfish just thinking about you. You didn't even hear us in the first place and now look at you going to end your life like a loser. But what that baby did to you to end their life with you too.." Film also started to yell at me. I didn't tell any words, just stuck at my place. Was expecting this earth to swallow me at this moment for the whole doings.

They sensed the situation of mine now. And they come towards me and hugged me so tight like they are afraid to leave me there . I can sense the fear they felt when they realised I am going to commit suicide.

I don't know how many minutes we standed like that in eachother embrace crying our heart out.But it gave me so courage and calm to my mind. They were there with me for the whole day because they were so afraid to let me alone. After that they took turn to look after me I was not in a good mind set completely broken. I felt my tears even hate me because at one point I couldn't even cry my heart out . I was so afraid about my baby thinking about what will it be for him or her if I am like this.

My mental state was worsening day by day . If there's no Perth and Film, I will be already dead by now. And I will not get Eve as like this.

I was around I am 20 weeks pregnant I got the first kick of my baby and I felt the big movement of him inside my womb. That was the first time I felt happy after all those dramas . I literally cried after a month for the first time. Because I was so overwhelmed by those feeling of pregnancy and having a baby.its a motherly instinct in my heart and I felt the connection with my baby.

"Ohm..you are crying..Ohm.." It was Film she was shocked seeing me crying after these all dramas. I didn't even cried or responded to them just staring at something or always look aways. Didn't even utter a word. All felt like a robotic movements. Without even knowing myself I was doing something that's it.But when I felt the first kick of my baby my tears was flowing and I stroked my belly involuntarily.

"Film..it kicked..my...my..Baby is kicking.." I said to her stroking my belly . I was smiling and crying as well.

"What ? Really..can I feel it " Film said looking at my belly with a wide smile. I nodded and put her hands on my little exposed belly. It's a bit big now. And also so round. I pulled up my t shirt and pressed her hands on the belly.

"Baby..kick again..Look It's Film ..Just kick again na..Papa want to feel it again.." I told to the baby. My voice was still shaking and iam tearing up also.

I felt the second kick and the feeling of motherhood just made me excited. Carrying a baby is not so easy. We have to take care of ourselves as well as another life too. The kicking made me realised I am not unlucky or hopeless. I am not alone in this world. May be his other father didn't want this Baby but I want him I need this baby. I will do to any extant for this one. Because I only have this one. My world is this baby.