Christmas Wonder (RotG)

Chapter 8

The rest of the night went by a lot quicker than it had before. The pain in your fingers eased, and your hands worked a lot more precisely. You sewed, stuffed, and wrapped present after present. As your work became easier, your heart lit with glee. You were creating the magic, both for yourself and for others, instead of passively receiving it like you did as a kid. When you used intention, you could get your Christmas wonder back.

It wasn't from your childhood. Your heart ached a little to see that go. But you were an adult, not a child anymore, and there was still some joy in adulthood.

Blair grinned at you. "You're getting it!"

When Santa came around, he also gave you a big smile. "You've got it!"

You smiled back.

Too soon, the time came for you to go home. Once you'd reoriented yourself from the portal trip back to your apartment, you took a deep breath and gazed around. The Christmas tree replaced by magic. The glow of sunrise filtering in.

And you realized you hadn't bought presents for your family yet.

Your mom, dad, sister, brother...

They were all hard to shop for. Your dad didn't enjoy much of any gift, your mom only liked clothes and jewelry but was super picky about the style, your sister's line between hatred and love of a present was very thin, and your brother didn't have many desires at all.

You had to think of something.

That day, work, however, was horribly stressful.

With the end of the quarter coming, deadlines were growing shorter and more urgent. Your boss wanted you and your coworkers to complete a lot of unreasonable goals before Christmas. You and your coworkers tried to tell her the deadlines were too tight, but she completely disregarded your concerns.

"We're a family here. We have to work together," she said. "If we can't complete these goals, our company goes underwater."

So you just had to buckle down.

By the time Santa came to pick you up, your nerves were already fried. You wanted to pull off your hair, pick off your skin, yank out your eyes and scream.

"What's wrong?" he asked you quickly as he pulled a Snow Globe from his pocket.

"Stressful day at work," you replied. "My boss is being an ass."

He nodded as he threw the Snow Globe on the ground. "I hope you can destress at workshop."

You sighed. You hoped you could.

Instead of making an announcement at the beginning of the work, Santa just let you go back to your table. He had nothing else he wanted to announce and suggested everyone get to work on meeting their quotas.

You were unsure how meeting a quota would do anything for your Christmas wonder until you sat back down at your table, waving glumly to Blair, who tried to cheer you up; and truly reflected on your adult life. Your stressful job that didn't pay very well. Your lack of time.

It still just couldn't compare to what your life had been like as a child. Happy and free. Adults might have the power to create magic, but what happened when they didn't have the time or funds to do so?

When you tried to craft and wrap your stuffed dragons, your fingers began to ache again, and you moved more slowly, making more mistakes.

A few hours later, you jumped when a hand gripped your shoulder. You turned around. Santa stood behind you.

"You seem to be having trouble again," he said.

You nodded.

"Come with me," Santa said.

You followed him back to his office. The ice sculptures on the table were slightly different than last time, a few replaced or moved around. You looked up at the sparkling ice and couldn't help but feel a call beneath your work to your Christmas wonder. This is what Christmas magic looks like.

Santa slammed the door shut. "You said you had a hard day at work."

"Yeah." You sighed. "It reminded me... I wasn't this stressed as a kid."

Santa nodded and paced to in front of you. "Yes. Being an adult is hard. But you can remember that children have their own issues. School, and parents. Every year, some children ask me to get rid of one of those two things for Christmas. You don't have to go to school or listen to your parents, do you?"

You leaned back against the ice wall. It was surprisingly warm for ice. "No, but I have a stressful job, which is worse. It takes all my time and energy."

Santa shook his head and picked up one of his ice prototypes—a little car. "But you have the power to change it, no? Children don't have that kind of power."

"I can't... get a new job."

"Everyone begins with a job that is not so great. Or so Jack has observed from the human world. No one has a perfect life—there are always things out of your control. I've lived long time, so I know this well. The important thing is to focus on what you can control."

The rest of the day, though, you were off and on with your Christmas wonder. Sometimes, you understood the power and magic of creating magic yourself. Other times, you just felt so stressed you couldn't conjure it up... How could you focus on what you could control when you were so stuck with a horrible amount of stress? How could you find joy in that?