Worth Crying For |16|

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Eversince I was young I hated crying

The pain of crying, I hated as well.

I wasn't one to cry as a kid, whether it was tantrums or arguments

There were only a handful of times I did

The first time, of course was when I was born. Like any other healthy baby I came out of my mother's womb crying being held by the person who operated on her.

The second time was when my grandpa went missing, we never found him. There was a noisy ruckus one late night and he went out to check on it, he never came back

That should have been an early sign...

Third time was when I was I believe 5, I don't remember it clearly. That time there was no food being grown, no food to eat. Me and my family were starving, it had been 3 days since we had eaten.

And then the fourth time was when my brother got lost under the ruble, I don't know the details all I remember was "They couldn't find him"

The fifth time...

The fifth and last time since I've cried...

Zhongli was with me... rather Rex lapis was with me

I rather not recall it... there's too much to unravel prior to the incident

A lot that should stay hidden

What should be kept as remains of the past

...

Crying is supposed to be normal, yet it feels like a curse... a gruesome pain

So much so that I hate the sight of crying, especially in a child... but it's meant to be normal...

It just bares too much weight on me

Too much memories that were nothing but a nightmare

I asked him that night...

to replace my eyes to that of stone

Stone that was strong and couldn't break, that was dry so I wouldn't shed much a tear

A rock, a symbol for stability and strength

Something I didn't have at that moment...

I wanted rocks for eyes that wouldn't crumble when the tsunami hit, that would stand strong which not even the hydro archon herself could break

I was tired of the floods... I wanted it to be dry...

So I asked him

To change my eyes, to give me stone

Stone for eyes

I begged him, simply choose a mineral and put it in my eye

And he told me to sleep

I woke up with stone... but not for my eyes...

The stone was strong... it's was beautiful

It was a gem of amber... a symbol carved

Gold flakes emitting from it

It wasn't the stone I wanted it, but he still gave me it

He hadn't known me for too long

Yet instead of picking up pebbles from off the ground to give as my new sight

He gave me a precious gem, one that many dream for

My eyes were no longer wet with tears. They were then wide at the sight of the gem in my hand...

Power in my palm, rocks, stones, pebbles, the grounds into a tiny gem the size of my little palm

The gem too is a secret of mine

A secret I cry for

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