Let Me Love You (Gabriel Laceup Fanfic) * ON HOLD*

Chapter 1

1 year today. I left and never looked back, 1 year I've been without my parents, and to be honest I hate it.

But today, im content. I had better things to worry about than being an orphan.

Today would also be my 4 year anniversary on YouTube. Its crazy how much time as passed, and to think that almost 1 million people have subscribed to my YouTube channel.

I owe ever last person my life. They are the reason I am alive today. Even though these people dont know that they have, they all still meam the absolute world to me.

Today, was not only my 4 year anniversary on YouTube, but also Vidcon! As excited as I was about it, I was still scared for my life, never could I have imagined that I would be able to do something as amazing as this.

I couldnt wait, to be able to see my supporters, they mean the world, and I couldnt ask for anyone better.

I had my clothes already pick for today, knowing me that I wouldn't be able to find anything thay day and it look good..

My heart was beating faster by the minute, as I slowly got ready. I curled my long brown hair, and pulled it back so I could do my makeup.

I made a disgusted face in the mirror as I began. I cant not wear makeup anymore, I just dont like it. I feel bare, and I look ugly. Every part of me now felt ugly, I pretended that I didnt feel that way, even though I did.

I dont know if it was because, I felt ugly without makeup, that I just hid myself behind it. Or just that I couldnt let people see me without it, because I was scared they would judge me, like everyone else I knew.

I went through my everyday process. As much as I loved makeup, I still hated the feeling of having layers, layers on my skin. And so, I applied as little as I could, that still made me look alive.

I concealed the dark circles under my eyes, from no getting enough sleep, and the few random spots that layed on my face. My pale-ish skin looked more awake as I went on with my process, I didnt look so broken, I look alive. And maybe thats another reason why I like makeup so much, is because I feel comfortable in it, more content with myself.

I added bronzer to my skin to make it look like I accually got outside, I didnt add blush though, my cheeks already had that covered. And then I set it all with a matte powder, it make the bronzer lighter so I didnt look like i had huge cheek bones.

I filled and combed through my eyebrows, and applied a few layers of mascara to my lashes. I took my hair out and it fell onto my back.

I looked okay, not beautiful, not even close to being pretty. I just looked okay, and that was enough for me.

I climbed out of my pajamas, and looked in the mirror, I stood there in my bra and underwear, completely appalled with what stood in front of me.

I looked terrible, every inch of my body I hated, and I'd tried changing it so many times but each time I failed. I lifted the band of my underwear, and under it showed my scars, the few that I keep the hidden and there were a few on my thighs, that weren't so easily hidden.

The scars were a pink purple color, and stretched from about an inch to 5 inches. I frown took over my face, and I sighed to myself. I cant beleive I actually did this to my body, I ruined the body that alot of people would love to have.

But, as I ruined my body, I also made it my own, and made it different. Special. I had a tattoo that rested on my wrist that showed my life, it was simple but held so much meaning.

I refuse to sink. As long as that rested on my wrist I refused to give up the never ending battle that is life. I fell apart, and my fans were the only ones who helped me through it.

I pushed all the thoughts of disgust to the back if my head. Today was about my fans, not about me. I pulled my crop top over my head, and pulled my shorts over my thighs. These shorts were just long enough to cover the scars of my thighs, which I guess was a good thing and a bad.

I tied a flannel around my waist and walk over to my hotel bed. My boots rested on the edge of my bed, with my socks inside them. I slipped my white socks on my feet before lacing my shoes on them.

I looked in the mirror, I looked okay. Once again just okay nothing better than that, but thays okay. Im okay with not being beautiful, because I kniw I never will be, and ive just come to terms with it.

Penny board in hand, my guitar on my back, my phone and vlog camera in my pocket as I walked out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

The building wasnt very far from my hotel, which was nice. California traffic, well thats another thing, and another reason why I took my penny board. Just about every youtube I knew was car pooling, and I really didn't want to do that.

In a few minutes I had reached the entrance of Vidcon. The building was alot bigger than I thought it was, but thats okay I will just have to find my was around.

A few girls infront of me screamed, and I moved thinking they saw somone behind me, but boy was I wrong.

The came up running to me.

"Sierra?! Oh my gosh its accually you! Your so amazing, and beautiful and I love you so much!" A girl spoke from infront of me. She had short blonde hair and was probably s foot shorter than me.

"Hi, how are you?" I asked calmly as her friends stood behind her hyperventilating, as they stood in front of me in aw.

"Good, amazing! I didnt think you would accually be here! This is just amazing!" She spoke fairly.

"Do you want to take a picture with me?" I asked and the girls behind her looked sad " You know I'm talking to you too right?" I asked and they moved closer to me smiling.

I took my phone out of my pocket and took a fast picture of us.

"What are you twitters"

"Ugh..." she spoke. They all look pretty embarrassed.

"We all co own a twitter.....and its @JarOfMayoSquad" she spoke and I giggled.

"So I guess you guys know what people used to call me" I said smiling.
I quickly twitter the picture, and then saw the time.

I nearly jumped out of my skin, I was going to be late.

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Hey! Do you guys like it so far? It was just a spare moment thing, but if it gets some reads, ill defiantly update it. With lots of love and luke hemmings hug- Tadpolsrbbyturtles