"Hey kid. How you feeling?" Aizawa sounds concerned, something I should be used to from him, but it always catches me off guard. It's not the same concern my mom shows. It's not laced with pity, it's understanding, as if to say ' I know you can handle it, but you don't have to, say the word and I'll be there'. So I find myself being halfway honest with him.
"Better, but it's still a lot," I barely manage to get the words out, my voice strained and weak.
"Okay, do you want me to give you some space? I can leave, and—"
"No!" The desperation in my voice surprises me. I hate to be a burden like this, but I'm scared. I;m caught in a moment of weakness and all I want is to feel safe, and right now he's the only person that can make me feel safe. If it comes back he's the only person who can make it stop. "No, please don't leave. I just... don't want to be alone right now."
His sympathetic gaze softens, and I can see kindness in his eyes. "Okay, that's okay. Do you want me to get Todoroki?"
I shake my head, and Aizawa continues, "What about Bakugou?"
"You, please. I need you here. I'm so scared it's going to come back."
Aizawa nods, his expression reassuring, but before he can say more, the silence was shattered by the intrusive ring of my phone.
It's a cheesy theme song from an old hero movie and I can't help but blush because it's probably the nerdiest thing and it's so stupid and ugh why can't I just be normal for once.
"Hey kid, it's all might. Do you feel ok to answer?" His look is apprehensive, hesitating to even give me the option knowing how vulnerable I am right now.
Fair enough I guess, he just got me calm and now that peace is being interrupted. Further, the question seems less like a question of comfort and more of ability. Can I answer? Last I checked I can barely stutter out a sentence right now. I'm feeling a bit better but that doesn't mean much. That being said, it's All Might. I can't afford to show any weakness. I have to be strong. I have to be his successor. I have to prove myself to him. I don't have a choice. I have to do this. So I give a hesitant nod and Aizawa gives me a quizzical look, but proceeds to hand me my phone regardless.
"I am here! On your cell phone!"
His voice is boisterous and bold. If I were to describe the scene in a word it would be juxtaposition. It's uncanny how jarring it is in the situation. That being said, he doesn't have to know that.
"Hello All might"
I put on my best mask and it's hard but I manage somehow.
"Young Midoriya! I just wanted to apologize for what I said earlier this morning. I let my fear get the best of me. I won't let it happen again, I promise."
'I promise'. He said the same thing last time, and the time before that, and.. Well you get it. I know it's another empty promise,but I want so badly to believe it, so for now I'll pretend to accept the lie.
"No! You're all good! It was my fault for being late!"
"But I should have noticed you were sick, my boy."
Oh, that's what this is about. This has nothing to do with all that 'You have to better than this' Bullshit. This has nothing with the civilians I helped this morning.
"I didn't even know I was sick until after training."
That's not a lie! I probably wasn't sick before that training session, but he doesn't have to know that. He already regrets his choice. He already thinks I'm too weak for this. I have to prove him wrong.
"You should have told me, I could have taken you to recovery girl"
"I'm sorry sir. I'll try better next time I swear!"
"I'll hold you to it!"
"Yes sir!"
"Go get some rest, as soon as you're better we'll be right back to going plus ultra, my boy!"
"Thank you All Might"
"No Problem, Young Midoriya. Now go get some rest."
"Yes sir, thank you sir"
"I am Hanging up! Goodbye young Midoriya!"
"Goodbye!"
My head is reeling. Just talking to him makes me nauseous.
"Midoriya?"
"S-sorry about that."
"Want to explain how you managed to fake that so convincingly?"
No. No I do not. Conveniently, I feel like I'm gonna puke. Instead of answering I rush to the toilet spitting up bile. It burns my throat as it comes up. There's nothing left in my stomach. What little remains comes up and that's when I remember I haven't eaten for a week and it shows.
Aizawa watches me from the doorway, steadily making his way over to me like he's approaching a stray cat. His face is kind, worried, but kind. His eyes are soft, softer than I've ever seen on him. It feels wrong, not in a 'warning! danger!' way, but in a sad, pitying way.
