𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔 𝗞𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗜𝗔𝗡𝗨- Was your average rich girl, just as privileged as the next one.
Yet, she never believed much in religion. It was forced on her, her entire life. Olivia's parents, didn't support of her actions. She was a problem child...
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Was I really doing this?
I mean, i've never confessed to a preacher before. But I knew my mom did it a lot, but can I even confess if I don't believe in any of it?
I just really need to speak my thoughts, knowing they're in a safe place.
I made sure to go to a different church, I could not confess any of this to Tom's dad.
I took a deep sigh. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned, this is my first confession." I stated, making the sign of the cross.
I started to talk about all my true feelings, about Tom, our situation. Literally everything, I had so much to say, yet no one to speak it to.
"Yeah, so if he takes the job in Minnesota, I mean great, but what does that mean for us? A friend of his said, that before our current relationship all he did was just have... forgive me, sex with many women, my best friend kept prying at me to tell her my true feelings about Tom, but how can I know they're really real? You know, I think... I do love him, but which side of him? The side that he is in front of his father, or the side that i've seen? What if there's more sides I haven't even seen yet." I continued to rant.
"Honestly, i'm not sure how this all works, but I just really needed to get my feelings out, what do you think I should do? Tell him my feelings?" I questioned, unsure of what to do.
I had told the preacher how our relationship first began, our first interaction, everything. I felt safe in here... like I could say anything without being judged for my sins, it was peaceful.
"Seems like you're dealing with a lot." A familiar voice spoke, that accent...
Oh shit, oh fuck, oh no. Oh my God, literally.
I just confessed everything... all of it, our whole relationship, the sides of Tom, and including the fact that he didn't really believe in God.
"I am so sorry." I gulped, stepping out of the reconciliation room.
I ran outside the church, clenching at my fists. "Fuck!" I shouted, I quickly took my phone out, calling Tom's number, I was still mad at him, but this, this went past all of that.
"Livvy? Oh thank God." He responded.
"Tom!— Hang on, my dads calling me, i'll call you back, in a second I swear!"
Oh no, no, no.
I opened the door of the first taxi I saw giving him my address.
-
I hastily unlocked the door, noticing his parents cars were in our driveway. I had to share a ride, with someone, making the way home longer.
I ran down the hallway, seeing him sat on the couch with his parents. Was he... crying?
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to—" I quickly apologized between him and his parents.
"I'm taking the job, and we're getting a divorce." He glanced to his dad, glaring at him. "That's not what I want though." I sat down.
"Well, it seems neither of us have a choice. Your parents are going to cancel all of it, i'm in deep shit, as so are you." Tom kept his rude demeanor up, was it for his dad... or was this how he felt.
"Are you speaking for yourself?" I questioned. "Yes." He responded, simply.
"You can't leave." I shook my head. "Well then that sucks... because i've already booked the tickets." Tom says coldly.
"Can we talk alone?" I look to his parents. "Why? They already know everything." He scoffed. "Because... I need to tell you something." My pupils shook looking at his.
"So then.. say it."
"You can't leave because I—" Fuck Liv, just say it. He's already leaving anyways.
"Never mind." I shook my head, getting back up. I walked over to the staircase, running up the steps, into my room. I closed the door shut.
I stripped free of my clothes, this was it.
Tom was really leaving me, for good.
I swallowed back tears, getting into my bed. I just want to go to sleep, and hopefully when I wake up, this feeling will be gone.
-
"Wake up." I felt hands on my shoulder, shaking me lightly. "Fuck off, go to Minnesota." I sunk further into the comfy bed.
"I'm going to Minnesota, but not before you know the facts." He began to pull at some of my fingers. "Which are?"
"That... I don't have a choice, and i'd never leave like this, if it were up to me." He explained.
"You're not a kid, you're an adult. Your dad doesn't own you, and you have your own free will, those are the facts. Not what you just said."
"I was going to tell him anyways, I planned on telling him tonight. But... seems like you got around to it before me." He laughed, was this funny to him? Cause it wasn't to me.
"You've been an ass, all day long." I felt the anger brewing up inside of me, remembering the way he was talking to me before.
"I know, but it's because I told him that I loved you and he freaked out."
I told him that I loved you.
That I loved you.
I. Loved. You.
"So you love me, but you're still leaving." I clarified. "Come with me." Tom clenched his hand around my wrist.
"I hate you so much, I hate the way you treat me. I hate the way you're so clueless about everything, I hate the way you haven't been honest to your dad. I hate the way you never defend me to him, I hate the way you treat women. I hate how you're always two different people." I kept my back turned to him.
Tom releases his grip from my wrist.
That's when I suddenly stood up on the bed. "You know what else I hate?" I watched his eyes water, looking at me.
"Fuck you." He started to walk away.
I hopped off the bed, pulling him back.
"I hate that even through all of the bullshit you do, I hate that you take care of me. I hate that you, call me names in different languages. I hate the way you make me feel. I hate the way you play with my hair when I can't sleep, I hate that you love me, and I hate so much about you, that it makes me love you."
