Runaways

Chapter 30

Yoenjun's POV

Liam helps me up and I know I am not ready to face the truth. I know that with each step I have to take, somehow, I have to face reality.

I somehow have to get stuck in a loop of sadness, and remembrance of who my dad was and not who he still is.

My appa...

Each step I take isn't just a step, it's a memory of what was, a stripping off where I am leaving my dad behind and I am living a life without him, just thinking about it, I cannot fathom how I will live without him, how I will survive this life, and for a second I stop, and I just take deep breaths, tears falling unguided.

"Are you okay?" Liam cues and the only thing my body can do is nod. Liam waits for me to semi calm down and when I have, he continues to help me walk.

We walk hand in hand, with Liam as my support and I can't help but think what if things were different?

My tears don't stop falling, I keep wiping tears with my other hand, as it blurs my vision. We get to the door where my dad is, and I stop.

I can't find it in me to take another step forward. Liam looks at me but doesn't say anything but rubs the palm of my hand softly.

Suddenly a gush of emotions hit again, and I start crying. Not small tears that roll down your cheek when you hurt but can still hold it in, but true pain of what it means to lose someone you can never get back and that piercing deep pain within you where you want to scream your lungs out in hopes that this person on their way up sees and comes back.

Liam pulls me into a hug, and I just break right there. Every ounce of me, I feel hurting to the point where I am hiccuping in tears.

"It hurts Liam," I whisper hiccuping. "It hurts so bad,"

"I should have been home," I utter, feeling my chest close up.

"I just should have been home," I repeat, trying to breathe whilst sobbing.

"I am so sorry love," he tries his best to hush me but fails, because I still stand there with him, feeling weaker by the second.

I open my mouth to tell Liam that I am not okay, that I am falling, but I fail. Even now when I slip into darkness, I can sense Liam's worry and he tries to shake me back to life.

***
Liam's POV

She faints again, and this time right in my arms.

"June, Junie..." I shake her to no avail.

"SOMEBODY HELP!" I yell and within seconds, doctors are surrounding me, and they bring a stretch, they place her on it and they wheel her off.

I follow them and I start feeling my anxiety levels spiking up. My phone rings whilst I am following the doctors to get Junie into the room and it's Alek.

I answer it on the first ring.

"Is it true?" He asks.

"Count with me," I mutter, knowing fully well that I might end up like Junie if I don't calm down.

"Where are you?" I hear shuffling in the background, and I know he is standing up and coming to me.

"ST Michaels, ninth floor, hurry," I end the call and I continue following Junie. We head back to the same ward we were in a few minutes ago and this time, I want to see them treat her, and this time I am stubborn enough to want to play hero and be where she is.

Seeing my wife being pulled in a stretch twice a day is something I never thought would exist, so even my levels of anxiety are reaching levels they are not supposed to.

"Sir, I need you to go outside," one of the doctors instructed me.

"What is going on now? Is it still hyperventilating?" I press, ignoring his instructions.

"Sir, please," he begs, but still I press, "Doctor what is happening?"

One of the doctors leaves what he is doing and starts pushing me out of the room. When he gets me out, he locks the door. When I try to enter the room, it the locked on the inside and I can't enter.

I push with all of my might, but still, no avail. I stop doing that, and I start pacing around, but it makes it worse, so I stop and focus on my breathing.

I go back to the door to see if it can unlock, and it still doesn't.

A woman with fairly familiar features stands near me. I look at her and I can't pinpoint who she looks like, so I don't mind her.

I look again at what they are doing through the door and the doors are still surrounding her, making me more nervous.

"Will she be, okay?" A voice so low and tiny comes from this woman.

I look at her not sure if I should answer.

"Who are you?" I cue instead, confused.

"Just, please answer my question," tears fill her eyes and I don't know what to say to her or even how to comfort her. Before I can even say anymore, the doors open and there stands the doctor in front of us.

"Mr. Preobrazhensky, your wife is going to be okay. She just had another episode, but after resting she will be okay,"

I hear the lady behind me breathing a sigh of relief, but I don't consider her presence anymore, my focus is on Junie's health.

"Can I see her?" I ask.

"Yes, you can. But I have to emphasize this, your wife can't have another episode Mr. Preobrazhensky. Her body won't be able to handle that much stress. She might end up in the ICU."

When he says the last sentence, I feel my heart going heavy. He then leaves, and I am left standing there in confusion.

Then I remembered the lady that was next to me when I turned to look for her, she was nowhere to be found. I forget about her, and I take a breath before I enter.

When I get in the room, it reminds me of when I was in the hospital, and the room just smelt of medicine and death. The smell wasn't welcoming and having to see Junie going through a loss and being here made my heart ache. 

I get to her, and I take her hand into mine and it's not as responsive as it was a few minutes ago.

"I am so sorry June," I kiss her hand as I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I can't imagine the hurt, and regret she might have been feeling when all of this happened and still, she wanted to stay with me.

I forced her to stay so I wouldn't feel bad, but maybe I should have let her go home, maybe I should have just trusted her and trusted that she would come back, maybe her dad would be alive then, maybe the circumstances would be different from what it is, and Junie wouldn't be in this hospital.

She wouldn't be hurting, she wouldn't be in pain, in sadness and this loop of denial. Junie would be still Junie, Kingdom's Designer, Yoongi's sister, and the best there is.

I take a sit next to her, still holding on to her, hoping that me holding on to her makes her feel like she remembers that her dad loved her, and that she will always love her so so much, that even though she has lost her dad, I hope that she heals, someday.

I hope that she knows that I care for her, that she matters, and that even though I could never substitute her dad, I will be there for her when she needs me and for all that is good in the world, I hope she knows that I am sorry for her loss.

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