Party Crashers Fic Compilation

Christmas Special (Sophist + Vernias [?] )

A very silly and probably stupid Christmas story I came up with on a whim. 2 days late to Christmas. Happy holidays everyone.

Also didn't expect to get a few comments already. Will keep that in mind.

On a dark winter night, a tiny purple star shimmered brightly before descending from the heavens upon a house covered with haphazardly placed Christmas lights and unlit firecrackers. Inside the house, a man named Sophist laid peacefully in his bed, snoring quietly and dreaming about all the chaos he wanted to wreak around him.

Wake up, The purple star telepathically commanded to Sophist.

"Hold up a minute, I'm trying to set this on fire..." Sophist mumbled in his sleep as he turned around, his face now buried in his pillow and completely away from the star.

WAKE UP, The purple star repeated much more forcefully and Sophist jolted upright in his bed awake, quickly glancing around his room before noticing the shiny purple star in front of him. He stared at the star for a moment before yawning and beginning to flop back onto his bed.

Get back up, boy, The purple star said as Sophist blinked and then stared at the star again.

"Oh, so you're the thing talking in my ear," Sophist said as he yawned again. "You look really bright and shiny and all but I really want to sleep because I was planning on a hei-"

You will be Santa this year, The purple star said. We are running low on manpower and time-

"Nah." Sophist responded and laid back down, turning on his side.

What?

"Not interested, sorry," Sophist reiterated as he squeezed his eyes shut as the star drifted closer to his face.

Think about all the children that will cry when they run to their stocking in the morning when they wake up-

"Not my problem," Sophist said with a little shrug and his mouth slightly twinging. "Honestly I don't really care what happens to those little sh-"

Do you not get sad when everyone around you receives gifts and love and you don't? Do you not care about the spirit of Christmas?

"Oh no, don't get me wrong," Sophist replied with a grin. "I love presents and receiving things. Usually I'm taking it from other people though." He laughed, and he swore he could hear the star audibly sigh.

Well. You don't actually have a choice in the matter, The star said after several moments of silence. Sooooooooo do your job and I hope you become a slightly better person by the end of this.

"Wait what," Sophist said as he reached for the pillow next to him and covered his face with it. "Surely, after everything I told you, you'd realize I'm literally not the guy for this job and you'd be better off-" Before he could finish his sentence, the bed underneath him, the star,  the pillow in his hands, and everything else in his bedroom vanished. Sophist felt himself begin to fall and silently cursed under his breath.

And then everything went pitch black.

————————————————————

"Hello?" said a tiny voice.

Something was knocking on his head. Sophist grumbled something incoherent and refused to open his eyes. Who was trying to wake him up this time?

"Sleepyhead! Idiot! Dunce! Moron!" The same tiny voice piped up again, followed by more pummels to Sophist's head.  Sophist slowly opened his eyes and slowly sat up as he realized he had been sprawled across the floor unconscious. A giant workshop full of whirring machinery and multitudes of toys stood before him, and everything prior to apparently knocking unconscious on the workshop's floor came flooding back to him. Sophist stared at his surroundings and then glanced down and pulled at the unfamiliar, puffy white sleeves of his mysteriously acquired red attire.