The Trial of an Undomestic Barrister | JJK x PJM

✦5| Blunder of a lifetime✦

everybody gets high - missio

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JUNGKOOK

I wake at six a.m with my heart pounding, half on my feet, scrabbling for a pen, and saying out loud, "What? What?", which is pretty much how I always wake up.

I think nervy sleep runs in the family or something.

Last December 25th at our family house I crept into the kitchen at about three a.m for a drink of water— to find my mother in her dressing gown reading a court report, and Hoseok swigging a Xanax* as he watched the open-hearing of a life sentence case on TV. [to manage anxiety disorder]

I totter into the restroom and stare at my pale reflection.

This is it.

All the work, all the studying, all the late nights... it's all been for this day. Partner. And then President.

Or... no Partner.

Oh, Gosh. Stop it. Don't think about it. I head into the kitchen and open the fridge.

Dammit. I'm out of milk. And coffee.

I must find myself a food-delivery company. And a milkman.

I reach for a sticky-note and scrawl:

47. Food delivery /milkman? 

And stick it to the bottom of my TO-DO list. My TO DO list is written on a piece of paper pinned up on the main wall to be a useful reminder of things I'm intending to do. It's yellowing a bit now, actually— and the ink at the top of the list has become so faint I can barely read it.

But it's a good way to keep myself organized.

I should really cross off some of the early entries, it occurs to me. I mean, the original list dates from when I first moved into my apartment, three years ago. 

Well, I must have done some of this stuff by now. I pick up a pen to cross out those and squint at the first few faded entries.

1. Find milkman

2. Food delivery— organize?

3. How switch on oven?

Oh. Right. 

Well, I really am going to get all this delivery stuff organized. At the weekend. And I'll get on with the oven as well. I'll read the manual and everything.

I scan quickly down to newer entries, around two years old.

16. Sort out milkman

17. Have friends over?

18. Take up hobby??

The thing is, I am meaning to have some friends over. And take up a hobby. When work is less busy. 

I look down to even later entries— maybe a year old— where the ink is still blue.

41. Go on holiday?

42. Give dinner party?

42. MILKMAN??

I stare at the list in slight frustration.

How can I have done nothing on my list?

Crossly, I throw my pen down and turn on the kettle, resisting the temptation to rip the list into bits. The kettle has come to a boil and I make myself a cup of weird herbal tea I was once given by a client. I reach for an apple from the fruit bowl— only to discover it's gone all rotten.